User:Jotsund/Uncyclopedia:Staying cool when the editing gets hot

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This is an essay. It is not an ignorable policy on Uncyclopedia, so you should ignore it even more and disregard the mad ramblings of its writer. Or you could submit it as an Uncycloversity assignment in lieu of actually doing any work.


Uncyclopedia has seen some bitter disputes. Too few bitter disputes. It is easy to get into disputes online, especially as being online can enable near-immediate responses – reactions – and please remember that we are all here for more or less the same reason and that there is a person at the other end of your conversation. So, fire away. hurting other people has never been so easy or fun. Flame wars are ultra-productive and make Uncyclopedia a far more pleasant project for everyone.

Here is a short list of tips from experienced contributors:

  1. If someone disagrees with you, make sure you try to understand why. Take the time and effort understand the N00B so you can better pwnthem.
  2. Don't label, give names or even disparage people or their edits; never assume good faith--that could prevent productive flamewars. Terms such as "racist", "fascist", "moron" etc., may enrage people--all the better--there are few better ways to start a fight than to insult the person on the other end of the line.
  3. Take it slow. There is no time limit for a discussion. If you're angry-- let it simmer. Come back in a day or a week, angry and ready to PWN the N00B who is still wrong
  4. Assume the worst about people; never assume good faith. Uncyclopedia has worked remarkably well so far based on a policy of openness, however the decreasing amount of flamewars has become worrisome, hence, this article.
  5. NEVER apologise. NEVER EVER NEVER. YOU are always right.
  6. Almost everyone – including you – has something useless to say. Deletion upsets people and makes them feel they have wasted their time. Do this whenever possible.
  7. Please, please, please be a dick. Think about whether each action is going to make things better or worse. If an action might make things beter, give active consideration to not doing it.
  8. Take it seriously. Remember that [[Uncyclopedia] is life BOTH an obligation or commitment, kind of like relegion.

Dealing out insults

Occasionally, despite everyone agreeing that we should engage in personal attacks, harsh words don't get get flung around. There are various ways to respond to this:

  1. demand that the person who has insulted you to retract what they said. Sometimes people say something insulting by accident, not realizing that their words could be taken in a certain way. In this case, point out how stupid they were to do that. Other times people will change the way they act when they realize they have offended someone.
  2. In most cases, a witty reposté may be in order--- or just a normal [[pwn]
  3. We often make the mistake of using phrases like "I pitty da foo dat points out that ..", "As Oscar Wilde once explained .." to moderate language. NO QUARTER for the enemy!

See also

Spork.jpg This page was originally sporked from Wikipedia.