Spinning Beach Ball Of Death
The Spinning Beach Ball Of Death (Also known as the SBBOD) was created to make the user of any Mac go crazy. The applications were once running so smoothly, that Apple decided that something had to be done. Users were able to have many apps open at the same time and running at high speeds, so Apple created the Spinning Beach Ball Of Death.
History[edit]
Planning[edit]
Steve Jobs had a dream about a spinning beach ball that would not stop spinning or let him do anything. This inspired him to make his computer include the SBBOD. The idea was that the user would have to force quit the current application. The idea went through many stages, but eventually, Mac OS added it to the feature list.
Early Stages[edit]
The first stage was a watch icon that stared the user in the face. The hands on the watch tell the user how much time the user will waste. This was also known as the Watch Of Fate (WOF.) The WOF told the user how much time would be wasted on nothing. The computer pretends to be busy, but nothing actually happens.
Spinning Pinwheel[edit]
The Spinning Pinwheel was the next stage seen in early versions of Mac OSX. This made Mac OS X a lot slower and was a placeholder for Steve Jobs dream. The leap up to the dream of wasting the user's life was starting to pull through.
Spinning Beach Ball of Death[edit]
Mac OS X also added the Spinning Beach Ball Of Death for when the user moves the mouse over anything pertaining to the current application.It eventually spread to whenever the lagging application was lagging.
Stages[edit]
The SBBOD comes in three different stages:
Stage 1[edit]
Stage 1 is the basic stage of the SBBOD. It can occur t any time and can be resolved by waiting a few seconds. By appearing frequently enough, it wastes more time than stages 2 or 3.
Stage 2[edit]
The second stage is a bit more of a problem than stage 1. Stage 2 now makes the application lag for over a minute. Stage 2 lags can be minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, centuries, or even millenniums. Stage 2 SBBODs rarely end because the user aborts the process using the Force Quit feature.
Stage 3[edit]
The final stage is an infinite stage. Because it is an infinite stage, it can also be deadly, for if it occurs in Finder (the application intended to not find stuff,) the user cannot force quit because Force Quit is a feature in Finder.
Handling[edit]
When the SBBOD appears, you just have to wait for it to go away. That is the only way to handle the SBBOD. Anything else can result in your computer getting mad and giving the SBBOD again.
Appearances[edit]
The SBBOD can appear in many ways, all of which waste time
Safari[edit]
If you are unlucky enough to not have Firefox, Chrome, or any other web browser, you may get stuck with the SBBOD a lot more often than if you use a different browser.
Apple A, Apple O[edit]
This is the easiest way to get the SBBOD. Unlike the BSOD, you can get the SBBOD when you it to appear. This can be useful to do on a computer of someone you hate (given that it is a Mac.)
Saving and loading large files[edit]
Large files make it easier for your computer to waste your time because it has a good excuse. While you think that you are just loading a file, the file is already loaded, but your computer makes you wait so that you loose time that you will never get back. When you save large files, a very similar thing happens. The file saves, and then it is just an extra five minutes waiting for the SBBOD to go away so that you can continue using your computer.
Trying to do something in less than five minutes[edit]
As a general rule, it is impossible to do anything on a Mac in under 5 minutes. If you do, the SBBOD will make it take 5 minutes or even more.
Spinning Blue Circle Of Death/Hourglass Of Death[edit]
On Windows, you get the Spinning Blue Circle of Death (vista or later) or the Hourglass of Death(XP or earlier.) They are Microsoft's way of copying whatever Apple does (seen in the Windows Phone and Windows itself.) Unlike the SBBOD though, the SBCOD and the HOG sometimes don't take up the whole cursor. This lets you perform actions int 5 minutes that otherwise would take a second.
Future[edit]
Appearance[edit]
Apple has plans to make the SBBOD more common so that users waste more time. This is like the BSOD of windows 8 where you cannot get the hexidecimal codes from the screen itself. The player must search the hard drive to find the hexidecimal codes for the problem report.
Audio[edit]
Apple has announced that it is planning on making the SBBOD contain audio for the user to listn to. It is mostly a constant tone, but has very faint sounds of Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black.
3D[edit]
Yes. Apple will make the SBBOD come in 3D with their 3D computers. This will mean that it will pop out of the screen at the user as it is saying "Ha ha ha ha, I just waisted 5 minutes of your life."