September 11 Conspiracy

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September 11th is an alleged day of the year, the subject of a controversy which has continued in some form since September 12th, 1902. Many experts contend that September 11th is a myth created by late 19th century Freemasons, while a small faction of dissenters contends that September 11th is, in fact, a real day which occurs sometime between September 10th and 12th. There is some dispute over historical events which were said to have occurred on September 11th, such as the fall of the Berlin Wall and Ronald Reagan's infamous "I Have An Aryan Dream" speech.

The War of 1902[edit]

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It was not until September 11th that Lil Jon realized his error; but it was too little, too late. Although his troops were inept and in fact killed only three people, all of whom were American tourists, unspeakable damage was done to the reputation of Lil Jon's Kingdom of Crunk. In a move unprecedented on the international stage, Lil Jon used his powers as UN Secretary of Weights and Measures to cancel the day September 11th for all time. A media blitz followed in Crunk and all of its allies, attempting to convince citizens that the war against Austria was a rousing success, and no mistake had actually been made. With September 11th gone from the calendar, this proved surprisingly simple to do.

The Media Blitz[edit]

King Lil Jon, with the help of Crunk's respected Freemason chapter, began a campaign to erase September 11th from every calendar on earth. The Freemasons, who were in the middle of an insidious plot to overthrow Kelly Clarkson, Queen of the Callipygian Islands, were enthusiastic about a controversy which could divert attention from their other pursuits. As such, the Freemasons came forth on September 12th, 1902 and admitted to creating the day as part of an insidious plot to overthrow Kelly Clarkson, Queen of the Callipygian Islands. The Freemasons were terrible liars, and even worse conspiracists.

The Backlash[edit]

Almost immediately after - in fact, ten seconds before the admission by the Freemasons, a fierce backlash began. Hippies, astrologers, and psychics protested for months at the steps of Hpnotiq Hall in the capital city of Crunk until they were all shot down by troops who had undergone extensive marksman training since the debacle in Australia. For years after the attacks, a strong resistance to the idea of a nonexistent September 11th pressured the government of Crunk to issue a retraction, although every petition was met with a confused "WHAT?!"

In recent years, the opposition has dwindled, mostly due to to Lil Jon's remarkably successful "Spring Forward, Fall Back, Sleep For an Entire Day" campaign. However, the American organization God Damn It, September 11th is a Day (GDISED) is the center of the last throes of the resistance.