Sektor

Sektor's appearance in Mortal Kombat Crystal, because he became a robot he's looking to be stupid

Sektor is a character in the video game series Mortal Kombat (he makes an appearance on: Mortal Kombat 3, Mortal Kombat Gold, Mortal Kombat Silver, Mortal Kombat Crystal and Mortal Kombat Diamond), and supreme ruler of Japan.

Overview

SEKTOR (Synthetically-Enhanced-Kombat-and-Termination-Oriented-Robot). Made in China. Easily damaged due to use of cheap metals during production. Likes to run around in circles shouting "Rubidobu!". Hopes to attract viable mate in doing so. He hopes in vain. The factory where he was created blew up the moment he rolled off the assembly line, therefore there are no others like him. Primary armaments include pellet-missiles and flamethrower. Secondary armament includes giant tweezers. Sektor is also capable of space flight, by grabbing an eagle tightly while setting its tail on fire.

Sektor was initially programmed in C++. However, the instability of the language and the Microsoft compiler generated several serious bugs. Examples of errors include Sektor attacking mirrors, Sektor trying to bathe, Sektor running headlong into garbage compactor. Therefore, he was later reprogrammed in Java and given internet-access capabilities. This turned out to be a mistake, since Sektor used his new capabilities to watch porn all the time!! He also learnt to masturbate oil. Java also made Sektor slower than he was before, so slow that Shao Khan was finally able to hit someone with that huge hammer he carries around. Sektor is now in the process of writing his own language (which he calls "Rubidobu!"). He aims to reprogram himself, making him faster, smarter and most importantly, more female-friendly. He will also give himself the ability to say something other than "Rubidobu!". When asked to comment on the development, Sektor's response was "Rubidobu!".

Origin

Sektor's usual form is that of a Heinz Ketchup-bottle. Together with the character Cyrax (Who is in-fact a Heinz mustard-jar), they form the McDonald's Duo. Originally, the McDonald's Duo were a publicity stunt by McDonald's to publicise their food in other realms, using representatives in the Mortal Kombat (an interrealmical marshmallow-burning competition). To do this, Sektor and Cyrax were converted into walking ovens, capable of mass-producing miniature versions of McDonald's burgers (which are pretty tiny anyway, which means that the miniature versions are about the size of a germ). Some kombatants, however, got violent when they didn't get the burger of their choice. For instance, Motaro's incessant demands for a Sheeva-burger, mixed with a bit of Reptile-poo, could not be met and he neighed Cyrax to his destruction. Therefore, McDonald's spent billions training Sektor in kombat techniques, which was a waste of time, because everyone knew that Sektor was a sucker for female shopping-mall mannequins.

However, Midway's (the she-devil who keeps creating Mortal Kombats) strict game-creating rules (All four words of them: Blood blood blood choppedliver) changed the McDonald's Duo into deadly assassin robots and gave them electronic Rastas.

In his dark past, Sektor was anally-raped by Ed Boon, who anally stole his animation and sprite and gave it to a million other characters in all colors of the rainbow. Not much is known about his days as a Ketchup-bottle.

Powers

When extremely drunk, Sektor will puke out all the McDonald's junk-food he ate in the form of an explosive missile. While not the most sophisticated of abilities, it is definitely more useful than a flying hat. Another ability Sektor has is to sing Electronic-Reggay (Granted to him by his electronic Rastas). The combination of the two music-styles turns humans' minds into chewing gum, the chewing gum then eats the inside of the person's head and dies. Of course, the Fatality (special ending-move, often used when baking pizza) that Sektor performs still has roots in his origins. The red-robot gives his opponent Mc-Royal meal, while tasty-looking (like all McDonald's food), it is highly poisonous (like all McDonald's food).

Death and return of Sektor

A year ago, Sektor committed suicide using a frying pan and rat poison, most people believe it was because he overclocked his mind-processor to play Half-Life 2 on 1024x768 with a constant 60 frames per second. His memory shall not be forgotten...

...However, since he is a Mortal Kombat character, he just came back. Sektor, now with a steel frame and sprinkler system, realized that suicide is for emos and not condiments-turned-cyborg ninjas. He founded the Tekunin, an army of ninja robots, and made pirates extinct. They then nominated Sektor as Emperor of Japan; he won getting 5% of the vote, beating Godzilla, Sailor Moon, and Bob Dole.