Schroedinger's Jesus

This is me, an older me and a bird. Plus the cherubs. All together now.

Schroedinger's Jesus is a theory based on Quantum Physics that Jesus both exists, and does not exist at the same time. Which Jesus one might ask, well the answer is simple, all three of them are true.

History

Erwin Schroedinger as a well known agnostic, was unsure if Jesus existed or not. On one side were the Christians who claimed that Jesus existed, on the other side were the Atheists saying that Jesus does not exist. Schroedinger was very confused and puzzled. Having already created a Cat that is alive and dead at the same time, Schroedinger decided to do further research. Schroedinger himself is known as Schrödinger and Schroedinger at the same time, and each spelling of his name is correct and incorrect at the same time. Anyway Schroedinger made a Quantum Computer and fed into it via data entry every detail known about Jesus from Uncyclopedia, and also from every source he could think of. The results showed that Jesus exists and also does not exist at the same time.

The effects

Both the Christians and Atheists claimed that they were right. The Christians claimed that they were right that Jesus exists, and the Atheists claimed that they were right that Jesus does not exist. When a Christian prays now, Jesus both listens to and does not exist to listen to the prayer. When an Atheist dies, they go to Hell and also do not go to Hell but end up a corpse instead.

How it affects theories

Schroedinger found that both Intelligent Design and Evolution are correct and incorrect theories at the same time. That the Theory of change had predicted this and allowed the Change to happen, and that the Theory of Change itself is both correct and incorrect at the same time.

Retcon of the Jesi

Some atheists founded Atheists for Jesus, claiming that if Jesus exists, he must be an atheist philosopher and not the son of God, the Messiah, a Prophet, or a Jewish Carpenter.

Christians, claim that Jesus is the son of God, was Jewish but became the first Christian because he was the Messiah.

Jewish people claim that Jesus was not the Messiah and that the true Messiah has not come to Earth yet, and that Christians are silly people who stole Judaism and made Pagan changes to it and called it Christianity after the Roman Empire adopted it as the original Paganism had failed them, and thus Christianity or Neo-Paganism was formed.

Muslims claim that Jesus was not the son of God, but a Prophet who came to Earth before Muhammad, and that Jewish people, Christians, Atheists, etc all have it wrong.

After all of this arguing, it started the Crisis in Infinite Jerusalems, and caused infinite versions of Jesus, the Jesi, to appear throughout the multiverse. Uncyclopedia tried to keep up, but some Jesi met an untimely demise at the hands of Uncyclopedia Users who voted for their deletion and as a result "Your own, personal, Jesus" became a hit song. Though, the theory of Schroedinger's Jesus is still widely accepted in the Scientific community.

See Also

• Jesus
• Christianity
• Atheism
• Physics
• Quantum Physics
• Pseudoscience
• Science