Run-D.M.C.

“D.M.C? Where? Good God man! Into the bunker, post haste!”

~ Oscar Wilde on Run-D.M.C.

“We are the best or at least the ones you like.”

~ Run-D.M.C. on being the best

These charlie's couldn't tell the difference between each other, let alone weapons of mass destruction...

Run–D.M.C. (sometimes written Run D.M.C., Run–DMC, or Run DMC) is a lame rap group with no vulgarity. Fuck Mr. Frost. Run DMC has been called the Bono of hip-hop. What a queer.

History and Conception

Although never used in action, though it came close during the Anglo-Icelandic war (fought over Cod), the phrase was actually coined by none other than former Black Sabbath frontman Ozzy Osbourne. It was on one fateful afternoon in 1982 that Randy Rhodes, Osbourne's guitarist in his new band (the originally titled 'Ozzy Osbourne') pushed the drug addled Brummie away from an incoming inter-continental ballistic missile with the words 'Run! ICBM..arghhhhhh!'

Rhodes was of course vapourised by the explosion. Osbourne, stricken with grief, blamed himself quite a bit, but also the fact that ICBM (I... Incoming Big Missile, abbrev. I see an enormous giant big missile) had four letters. Had it only had three, he argued, Rhodes would have had time to run away and save himself. Henceforth he worked with the British army for the following 5 years, eventually coming up with the 3 letters that should be said before escaping atomisation from an impending nuclear detonation, and thus 'RUN! D.M.C!' was formed.

Now is probably a little too late to use 'RUN! D.M.C!' effectively...

'RUN! D.M.C.!' Today

Now internationally recognised as the warning for missile attack, 'RUN! D.M.C!' still remains untested. Rapper's Run DMC caused great confusion when pairing up with Aerosmith and telling people to 'Walk this way', when clearly walking is far too slow to avoid a mushroom cloud. This problem was only solved when the CIA ordered the assassination of the whole group, and they were each shot from a grassy knoll. Sightings of Reverend Run are argued to be an imposter, ordered there by The Beatle's management.

Of course, this is just one theory. Other such theories include:

• DMC was shot. Following this intense act of hatred on the part of popular hip-hopper (not to be confused with the equally famous, Grass-Hopper, a Young Native American) P. Diddy, the remaining members aptly named "RUN!" formed a bluegrass group who toured the Southern States of America. Unfortunately, their shade of skin did not go down to well and the pedal guitarist formerly known as "N" was lynched by the KKK (Kings, Kweens and Kountrymen). The following year saw yet another change in name (just "RU") and also a memorial tour for the Southern fans in which "R" and "U" also met their maker.
• DMC was not Shot. The band still tour but have not made any new songs since they butchered the song, "Walk this way" by the aforementioned Aerosmith.
• After the alleged shooting of DMC, Run briefly joined Bill Gates to form the folk combo and computer process "Run DLL" (also an early warning system, to let you know your computer is rubbish).