Pronunciation
“The pronunciation of pronunciation is pronunciation not pronounciation.”
“Ĭt's Lē-nŭx! Lē-nŭx! Lē-nŭx! Lĭ-nŭx! Lĭ-nŭx!”
“Līn-ĭx.”
Hāy, lük! Ū kăn rēd thĭs sĕn-tĕns wĭth-aŭt mĭs-prō-naŭn-sĭng ă wûrd! Prō-nŭn-sē-ā-shŭn ĭs thŭ prō-sĕs ŏf spē-kĭng. Wĕl, ăt lēst spē-kĭng thŭ wā Ī wänt ū tü spēk. Sĭns ōl lăngüĭjĭz ūz vŭw-ĕls, sûr-tĕn wûrds wĭl sŏwnd wērd. Wŭld ū ră-thŭr hăv ă tō-mā-tō ōr ā tō-mă-tō?[1] Nō, ū kănt hăv bōth!
Rēd-ĭng fōn-ĕh-tĭ-kăl-ē ĭn-hĕnsd tĕxts[edit]
Ĭn ôr-dûr tü hĕlp thŭ rēd-ûr tü rēd stŭf wĭth thŭ kōr-rĕk prō-nŭn-sē-ā-shŭn, tĕxts kăn ūs thŭ fŏ-lō-ĭng nō-tā-shŭn[2]:
- Sĭl-lĭ-bĭ-fĭ-kā-shŭn
- Dī-ă-krĭ-tĭks:
- ˘: Māks thŭ vŭw-ĕls shŏrt-sŭwnd-dĭd
- ¯: Māks thŭ vŭw-ĕls lŏng-sŭwnd-dĭd
Kül ĕh? Lĕts trī ĭt ŭwt.
Ĭn-tûr-nă-shŭn-ăl ĕnd lō-kăl dĭf-ŭr-ĕn-sĭs[edit]
“Ö?” ū sā? Sôr-rē, Ī kănt ŭn-dûr-stĕnd whät ū r trī-ĭng tū sā. Plēs câl ă-gĕn.
Cŏ-mŏn vâr-ē-ā-shŭns[edit]
Bē-fŏr wē kŏn-tĭn-ū, lĕt's fäm-ĭ-lē-r-īz wĭth sŭm dĭf-ŭr-ĕn-sĭs bē-twēn mĕn-ē cŏ-mŏn vâr-ē-ā-shŭns. Kăn ū pĭk thü rīt wŭn? (10 pŏnts fōr ēch kōr-ĕckt!)
Ō-rĭ-gĭ-năl | Vâr-ē-ā-shŭns |
---|---|
a | ā, ă |
e | ē, ĕ |
y | ȳ, ÿ |
Hŏw wĕl dĭd ū dü? Ū gŏt 0 pŏnts? Ū wĭn ă prīs! Jŭst klĭk thĭs bŭt-tŏn[3]:
Wüt-wüt?[edit]
X-äm-ĭn thĭs x-äm-pĕl:
- Yă, dĭd ū sē wăt hē sĕd ŏn hĭs wŏb-sīt?
- ...Hĭs wăt?
- ...Hĭs wăt?
- Wŏb-sīt.
- ...Ī thĭnk ū mēn “wĕb-sīt.”
- ...Ī thĭnk ū mēn “wĕb-sīt.”
- Y dōn't ū wrīt ă-bŭwt ĭt ĭn yōr blăg?[4]
Wē kăn klēr-lē sē thŭ kŏr-ĕck ūs ŏf prō-nŭn-sē-ā-shŭn.
Prō-nŭn-sē-ā-shŭn ĭn mē-dē-ă[edit]
Wĭth-ŏwt prō-nŭn-sē-ā-shŭn ĭn mē-dē-ă, whät wüd wē spēk?
Tē-Vē[edit]
Lĕts ă-plī ŭw-ûr nŏw-lĕdg ŏf prō-nŭn-sē-ā-shŭn tŭ Tē-Vē. Frôm ă pŏp-ū-lûr Tē-Vē sēr-ĭz, Thü Sĭmp-sŏns, thŭ līn “We're just going to garnish your salary.” wĭl bē tŭrnd tū:
Hī-lâr-ē-ŭs![5]
Büks[edit]
Büks. Whĕn wäs thŭ lăst tīm ū rĕd ă bük[6]? Wă-kă, wă-kă, wă-kă, wă-kă, wă-kă. Büks, ŏr bīnd-ĕd prĭnt pā-pûr mē-dē-ă, cŏn-tān ă lŏt of hō-mō-nĭms. Nō, rē-lē — thā dü!
Wĕl, ĕn-ē-wā. Ī gĕs thĭs frās, “Run like the wind.” (whĭch ū mŭst hăv bĭn — ûm, bēn kŏn-fū-sĭng tü ū) wĭl bē rē-wrĭt-ĕn ăs
Hă-hă! Trĭkd ū.
Kŭm-pū-tĭng[edit]
Ŏn thĕ Ĭn-tûr-wĕbs, prō-nŭn-sē-ā-shŭn ĭs vĕ-rē prŏ-blĕm-ă-tĭk. Ă lŏt of ū-sĕrs kŭwn-fūs thŭ prō-nŭn-sē-ā-shŭn ŭf mĕn-ē wûrds. Ă-gĕn wē ūs thŭ mĕth-ŏds ă-bŭv tū pŭt ĕn ĕnd tū thĭs.[7]
Plān Ĭn-glĭsh | Wĭth Prō-nŭwn-sē-ā-shŭn |
---|---|
Ubuntu Linux | Ü-bün-tü Lē-nŭx |
Microsoft Windows Vista | Dŭ-bĕl pān, ĭn-sŭl-ā-tĕd vĭs-tă wĭn-dōws |
Uncylcopedia | ĬN-VĬN-SĬ-BĔL R-TĬ-KĔL? NŌ, ĬS ŬN-SĪ-KLŌ-DĂ! |
Kŏn-klŭ-shŭn[edit]
Trī thĭs ăt hōm, kĭds![8] Ūs thēs mĕth-ŏds fōr:
- Măth prŏ-blĕms — dōnt nō hŏw. Ō wāt, yōr rĭt-ĕn sĕn-tĕns. Dōnt fōr-gĕt ĭt ōr ū lüs mărks!
- Ĭn-glĭsh ĕs-sās — ă-māz yōr tē-chŭrs wĭth pŭr-fĕk prō-nŭn-sē-ā-shŭn!
- Sī-ĕns lăb rē-pōrts — băl-ĕns ē-kwā-shŭns!
- Ŭn-sī-klō-pē-dē-ă!
Rĕf-ûr-ĕns-s[edit]
Sē äl-sō[edit]
- LŌLCĂTs
- Mē fāl Ĭn-glĭsh? Thăts ŭn-pŏs-ĭbĕl.
- Ĭn-glĭsh tū Ă-mâ-ĭ-kăn Dĭk-shŭn-â-rē
- Ĭn-dē-sĭ-shŭn (Māk ŭp yôr mīnd)