Patrick Kavanagh

Patrick Kavanagh (Irish: Pádraig Caomhánach) (21 October 1904 – 30 November 1967) was an Irish poet, filmaker and social activist.

Early life

As a young boy he was run out of his home by the Captains of Industry that owned the shaving factory. This, he saw as a "terrible injustice," though others say he deserved it for trying to live in the factory itself, as well as shaving off the eyebrows of workers while they slept.

He returned home to his parent's farm and worked as a farmhand and it was here that he first began his assays into "inverse neo-symbolism." His early work, such as "cows milking men" was published on an internet site where it was ignored due to the number of shiny flashing ad banners on the page. This was a bitter disappointment to the young poet and he described it as a "terrible injustice." It was this as much as anything which turned him towards communism.

All Poetry To the Soviets

He moved to Dublin and published a collection of "land affirmation" poetry. This poetry did not unite a subsisting proletariat as he had hoped, though it did earn him a small but devoted fan base. The book caused him great financial hardship and was the basis for his epic work, the great hunger, where he described his money troubles as a "terrible injustice," though many say he deserved it for not charging for the book. Fortunately for him, some gentlemen paid the rent in exchange for "services", though the terms of this agreement were not quite clear as the contract was smudged in several places.

He immigrated to Russia where he took part in the Bolshevik revolution, but was frustrated by the fact that he could not speak Russian (the basis for his debut film "Lost in Translation"). He returned to Ireland where he created a fledgling commune in Limerick. This commune lasted for several months despite its military weaknesses and rampant inbreeding, because no one cared.

Patrick travelled Ireland for the next two decades organising rallies (not the car rallies of course!) and meetings. When not trying to spread the communist ideals he organised rallies (the car kind).

Later career

During this time he combined his bucolic upbringing with his glamourous communist lifestyle in his book "Animal Farm." This book was later satirised by Karl Marx in his Book "the Communist Manifesto." Karl Marx began to trash talk Animal Farm during interviews, once burning it in an interview with Hello Magazine.

“ Animal Farm? As opposed to the other type of farm is it? ”

Patrick admitted that he was well and truly served on that occasion.

Prophecy

One day while sitting on a bench by a river, he was the victim of an attack where he was covered in molten bronze. He remains there today, trapped in metal but still alive and one day it is prophesised that he will rise again