P. Ramlee
P. (Peter/Potato/Parking Lot) Ramlee was a Malaysian spy, civil war veteran, cyborg and the founder of the company Ramly Burger. He was believed to be an actor, but no one knows what he did for a living. His life was shrouded in mystery. Some said he was the MaGaysian Jack the Rapper, an astoundingly famous Britshit rapper, who at his time, had the most album sold than One Erection or Dustbin Barber. But not once has he made a public appearance.
Early Life[edit]
Peter Benjamin Ramlee was born in 1929 AD, in Pulau Penis, Malaysah, born to an alien father from Krypton and a mother from the planet Ultra. Shortly after his birth, he was abandoned by his real parents and was sent to an orphanage where he didn't know about his alien heritage, except for the "P." tattoo on his forearm. It was rumoured that at 6 years old, P. Rambler allegedly took on the Spanish Armada on his own after they wanted to invade his potty, however no one lived to tell the tale as the only surviving witness of the incident was blind before it happened. During his teenage years, P. Rambo was a motocross racer going by the alias Takuya Yamashiro after witnessing a spaceship crashing into earth after stopping for Macdonald's with his then girlfriend, Jennifer Lopez.
P. Ramlee then knew that he could rediscover his alien heritage if he went to explore the alien spacecraft, instead, it activated his power and he became the emissary from hell, Supaidaman.
Life as Supaidaman[edit]
Contrary to popular belief, Supaidaman wasn't actually a kids TV show, it was a live documentary filmed from a hidden camera of P. Ramlee's secretly homosexual assistant trying to catch him skinny dipping at a nearby waterfall, but he never expected that under the guise of Supaidaman, P. Ramlee would go on to kill whoever went against him, violently. It was said that the action movie, John Dick starring Keyanu Leaves was actually inspired by the campfire horror, Supaidaman. However, he retired from being Supaidaman after killing all of his enemies.
Professional wrestling career[edit]
Ramlee, after retiring the mantle of Supaidaman, killing 400 mob bosses, blowing up 140 cities, and fathering over 40,000 children, decided one day that he didn't want to kill anymore, and so, he joined professional wrestling. Going by his mother's heritage, he adopted the name "Ultraman" but because of copyright reasons, the eyes of his costume was made from salted duck eggs. A movie was created based on this, called Love on Delivery starring Hong Kong comedian, Stephen Chow. He had an astonishing 140,000 knockouts during the first 3 months of his signing.
Cold War[edit]
During the Cold War, Malaysia was in a terrible state, with the ongoing sneak attacks during the Malayan Emergency, and the Malaysian government, then under the Birdshits, had little to no spies. Their only spy at that time was a cow, who could only moo, a blind man and a balloon filled with helium. The bridsith then sent their envoys to meet with Ramlee, to invite him to the spy agency, in which he agreed. Over the course of 5 years, Ramlee has served inVietnam against the Vietcunts and in Korea against the Nut Curryans. the most astonishing featt is that he had managed to kill Stalin at the height of his power after successfully building a megazord.
The battle lasted 4 days and 3 nights, both parties were kind enough, however, to give each other a 2 hour break from the fighting on a daily basis. However, Ramlee had the disadvantage as he was wearing a suit and running around with a Walther P38 which ran out of ammo the first 5 minutes Ramlee fought with Stalin. However, Ramlee had to call in an old friend, Leopardon.
Eventually, Ramlee killed Stalin's megazord with his sword of vigor and the world was saved.
Acting career[edit]
Gaining fame and recognition after killing Stalin, Ramlee, then 25, decided to pursue a career in acting, his films consisted of comedy, such as Bujang Lapok (Honey, I've got an erection!) And historical films, such as Hang Tuah (Old Gay Man who crosses swords). His movie earned cult status after 2 months, and so he exploited, using spin-offs of the successful movie, Bujang Lapok and adding a couple of words in front of it. Malaysian people were excited for this decision and he became the number 1 (and only actor because the rest were gone, not famous or accidentally ingested laxatives.) Actor in Malaysia.
Starting an empire[edit]
Ramlee, not satisfied with what he had, wanted more, and so an idea came up to his head while sitting on the beach, looking at sexy ladies. He wanted to start a meat processing company known as Ramly; he had to change the Lee to Ly because he would accidentally sue himself while buying groceries. That would eventually go on to be the most successful meat company in the entire of Malaysia. Within 10 minutes of the product's release, it would be sold out, making it a Malaysian classic that you could eat anytime and anywhere. This is a place where the most popular shops are roadside stalls in which no matter how dilapidated the shop is, there would be always people who would buy the burger, not for the buns, but for the meat.
Civil War[edit]
If you believed that Supaidaman wouldn't return, you were dead wrong. On 2018, when Pakistan Harapan won the General Election, the fugitive, Najib Razak decided to run to avoid the law. IronMahathir went to a bar in which Ramlee was playing pool, to enlist his help in the capture of Najib. The conflict lasted 19 days, but the Pakatan Harapan government had a secret weapon, Supaidaman. On August 14th, 2018, Ramlee, under the guise of Supaidaman, encountered Najib to challenge him to a 1V1 battle.
Eventually, Ramlee got the upper hand, and won the battle against Najib, letting Najib suffer the consequences of his action.
Presumed death[edit]
Ramlee, after the events of Civil War, went on to be a farmer, fathered 14,000,000 more children and died at the golden age of 97, but that is what they wanted you to think. In reality, Ramlee was an immortal being, capable of reviving unlimited times no matter how much damage he endured. That is because he was also mechanically augmented and his identity was transferred to a clone, Ben Ramlee.
Ben Ramlee, the only legitimate son of Supaidaman is unaware of his origins, but to honour his father he never knew, his girlfriend he never had, and his virginity he never lost, he now patrols the street of Koala Lumpur as the mythic Supaidaman. None of his children know of his identity, either.