Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/October 11

October 11: Flightless Bird Awareness Day

• 1581 - Dodos are encountered by the Portuguese. The birds are celebrated for their comical antics and large drumsticks.
• 1809 - Famed explorer Meriwether Lewis dies of a gunshot wound. Although it is generally believed to be a suicide, others note that suspicious-looking kiwis were seen lurking in the area.
• 1850 - University of Sydney opens, offering degrees in emu ranching and cassowary wrangling.
• 1877 - Kiwis invent their eponymous shoe polish. Initially, the product only has limited success as kiwis are expert at manufacturing but have poor marketing skills.
• 1895 - A staging of Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest is disrupted when an ostrich is accidentally let into the theater. Wilde clubs the bird into submission with his shoe.
• 1923 - Scientists prove there are no penguins at the North Pole, wonder why.
• 1942 - Penguin punting is invented in New Zealand due to war-time rationing of sports equipment.
• 1958 - The Penguin chocolate bar is invented; Kit Kat is infuriated.
• 1975 - Saturday Night Live debuts with an emperor penguin as guest host.
• 1977 - Rod Hull is exposed as a puppet for the Emu Liberation Front.
• 1989 - McDonald's introduces the Ostrich McNugget.
• 1998 - The Ostrich McNugget is reported to be a tasty non-greasy supplement by Wikipedia. Shows what they know...
• 2004 - McDonald's introduces the Emperor Penguin Deluxe Kids Meal, with 98% penguin meat. Kids want moa.
• 2012 - The Penguin Armies of Doom rise up and overthrow humanity.
• 2013 - Soylent green is rediscovered.