Negative Space
- This page is about the website NegativeSpace. If you were looking for the empty and meaningless void, you can find it here. Happy now?
“Remember, kids: walk down the lane, not across the street. Better yet, just go play in the road.”
“Negative what now?"”
“*Sigh* Don't talk to me.”
“Actually, I don't give them anything. I'm afraid to enter their house”
“Those are those things that make you itch, right?”
NegativeSpace, also known as Negative Space, NeGaTiV3SpACe.com, or simply "overly-pretentious, whiny emo crap", is a MySpace-style site for emos. Created in 2005 by its founder, [xxxEmPtYShAd0Wxxx]], it has now logged over eleventy billion members, including roughly half of the collective consciousness of 4Chan.
Founding[edit]
Tired of the constant corporate bias and general "selling out" of MySpace, indie programmer, poet, and musician, Mr. M. T. Shadow, decided to create a site for people like him, unplagued by the consumer-whore mindset and conformist marketing agenda employed by its despicable older brother. The resulting project was NegativeSpace, an underground, artsy MySpace-esque site dedicated solely to all things "emo","Scene", or "underground". Within the first three weeks alone, the underground website achieved its first million hits, as flocks of posers emos left their old hangout for something new, like baby turtles returning to the water. The rising success of the endeavor holds to this day, making it one of the top most visited sites of 2007. MySpace, in the meantime, has stooped to being a network of friends for normal people old enough to drive and deprived of social problems. You know, like it was supposed to be.
Differences[edit]
Um, not many. Other than the blatant use of Photoshop filters on everything imaginable, elitist slang words, and a somewhat bleaker color scheme, it functions exactly the same. The main difference, in fact, is simply that [xxxEmPtYShAd0Wxxx]] is not your friend. In fact, he's nobody's friend. He could really care less about whatever you're doing, so long as you give him his frickin' space. Uh, but other than that, it's the same deal, really.
Lossing[edit]
Midway through 2006, a stream of bitterness and rage flooded the site, claiming that the web host had "sold out", as more and more subcategories of posers emos emerged into the murky depths of the social networking phenomenon. Having been dumped by his girlfriend and suffering from deep emotional wounds, the founder threatened not only to kill himself, but take his server with it, signaling the end of project. But, of course, that didn't happen. It was just a bad day for him that day. He spent the next week in recovery listening to My Chemical Romance and decided that his dream was worthless, anyway. He sold most of the rights to Google, under the edgier company name Sadness, who continues to run the website to this day. Don't ask why users don't really mind this change, while still pointing the finger at it's founder. After all, if things made any sense around here, the site probably wouldn't have existed in the first place.
Cultic Status[edit]
The website has sparked controversy in recent years, as parents have declared the recent web craze to be a demonic cult spreading lies and sorrow to their children via satanic followers such as "Blud_M00nDev3L666" and encouraging addiction, violence, and suicide. Sort of like Harry Potter, Pokemon, and Dungeons and Dragons. The PR punk for the site retorted to this with a simple "screw you", as well as flipping the bird just to piss them off. It worked. Having thus raised the interest in otherwise unknowing teens, the website reached its 3rd billion user mark on October 22nd, 2006.
Revival[edit]
In January, 2007, having been gone from his his creation for several months, M.T.Shadow returned once again to the website, becoming lead designer and director of his site and heading the subsequent division of admins and programmers working under Sadness's command. Happy at the return of the original artist of the company, many of the members who left decided to return, as well as many new members, finally equaling a grant total of over 1 bajillion members in August of that same year.
The Road Ahead[edit]
The website still runs strong to this day, and continues to draw in members under the careful guidance of its founder. A recent change in the way the site has been run comes in the form of context-specific web banners to make hosting more cost-effective. The most recent of these is the "win a free Razor" sweepstakes sponsored by AT&T. Upon commenting, M.T. Shadow responded with a modest "meh". He is currently planning a book deal with an unknown publishing house, compiling not only the story of his recent success but also some bad poetry and abstract drawings, to be released later this year.