Navy

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This article is about the colour. For the seagoing affair, see The United States Navy, The Royal Navy or Navy Seals.
You may be looking for Navy FIELD and not even know it!

Navy is a deep blue colour.

History[edit]

"What shit. This looks like something out of Sonic the Hedgehog" - Brian Sewell on painting before Navy

Prior to 1842, the colour Navy was non-existent. There was little painters could do to depict the deep and foreboding colours of the sea except use black, a poor substitute, as it was unable to fully depict details.

Many painters chose to use royal blue, or sky blue to depict the dark, harassing sea, but this had limiting effect, with critics of the time harshly pronouncing such paintings as "rather jolly" and "What fun!" It took Blackbeard a full 20 years to convince most artists to create the colour which he personally claimed to have invented.

When many artists took poorly to this critique, there was a consensus that a solution should be found, so that artists could paint moody, homoerotic, moonlit sea-scapes. A small group of artists, who lived and painted around the same area, took on the problem. This later became known as the Waterstones Group for their high contribution to the literary world.

The Waterstones Group[edit]

Early attempts by the group to synthetically mix Navy prove unsuccessful

The Waterstones Group consisted of many well-respected and available artists, both literary and painters. Amongst their number was such notaries as Sigmund Freud, Brian Blessed, and the literary genius, Stephen King.

The first approach to the problem was an attempt to re-define to the world, by propaganda, what dark and moody paintings actually consisted of. The group bought several prime-time advertisement slots, and attempted to convince the world, by means of Gothic music, interspersed with royal blue pictures of the sea, that light blue was dark and moody.


This plan was, however, unsuccessful. Because of the limited budget the Waterstones Group had, the commercials were not aired enough to become embedded into the populations psyche, (unlike McDonalds), and merely annoyed the population.

The group then turned to Science to look for a solution. By employing several top-grade scientists they eventually came up with the solution of mixing a light blue paste, with a black colour, and Navy was created. And then, after all this, they all died.

Navy today[edit]

"Well, it's still rubbish, but at least it's the right colour" - Brian Sewell on painting after Navy

Today, Navy is mainly synthetically manufactured, primarily in hot countries. It is an unassuming colour, and has been largely superseded by ultramarine despite the rise in bolter related casualties. It is still a favorite of many artists however, when the desire to construct the traditional moody sea-scape takes them.