Monivea

The average Monivean family. Charming bunch of lads, en't they?

Here we have a member of the school's staff. A'int she gorgeous?

Monivea (or Moanivea (in the gaylick "an CAC") is a sizable blemish on Ireland's backside.

Education

Monivea is home to the glorified Alcatraz that is the National School. Following the Great Invasion of '55 a handful of nuns forged a covenant with Satan himself that granted them eternal life. However, Satan was eager to gather more followers and so, the nuns crafted the institute and continue to spread the Word of Satan to young children to this day. In spite of they're efforts the kids spend they're days indulging in various horrific vices including ...

-Losing their virginity at discos (at the tender age of 3 no less)

-Terrorising elderly residents

And worst of all...

-Listening to Lilian Pumpernickel and other such "artists"

The cheeky feckers have even managed to obtain bajillions of bucks from the notoriously persnickety Irish Government. They claim this is for the construction of a new school but the truth is the money is going towards a Brown Thomas Beanie.

Drinking

Undoubtedly, Monivea's biggest attraction lies in its quartet of pubs. These are...

-The Woodside Bar (or "Vaughan's"): This particular tavern was renowned for its glorious purple exterior. However, this was changed to a ghastly orange. This prompted several of the village people to descend upon the pub and sit sullenly, moaning and refusing to drink orange drinks, the pub's main source of income. In fact, the change was so shocking that The Purple One himself, Prince died a short time after the shift in colour.

-Moran's: Inarguably the least popular, Moran's holds the dubious title of Oldest Pub, dating back to the nineteenth century,thus making it popular with the "auld wans". Rather worryingly, the pub is situated mere metres from the National School. Some have speculated that Moran's is a "pedophile's paradise".

-McGann's Bar Food: Arguably the most popular of the 4, McGann's also very well may be the snazziest as it can bring out a marquee for big occasions (the annual Monivea Fair in which thousands of knackers descend upon the sleepy village to bathe it in drink, bodily fluids and silly string is a good example of this)

-Kelly's: This one's alright, I guess?

Demographics

The residents of Monivea can be easily divided into 2 groups...

-Knackers (95% of the populace) -Human Beings

As you can see the vast majority of the village's population consists of fucking knackers. Knackers are failed humans that resulted from the successful brainwashing of the Satanic Nuns. Knackers spend most of the week either hibernating in their natural habitat (pub) or are simply "up to no good". However, on Thursdays' the knackers emerge from their slumber to collect the dole (a weekly payment that encourages being a lazy little shit). Immediately afterwards they retreat to the pub once more and the cycle begins anew.

Actual human beings, on the other hand go about their business, giving up half their cash to fund the dole, while putting up with abuse and other shenanigans from the local knacks.