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“Oscar may have the rapist wit, but I'll always have my malapropisms”

~ Noel Coward on Malapropism

Malapropism is a term used to describe the misuse of stage props with delicious, harmful intent.

The Contraception of Malapropism[edit]

The very first intense of malapropism was recorded in the filming of the 'The Munich Putsch' in 1923. What started as a civil concussion as to who would play the leading role of Adolf Hitler between Adolf von Thadden and William Pierce, soon escalatored into a viscous, savage argument. Sensing the argument would soon turn to cufflinks, Pierce took initiation and struck Von Thadden's forehead with a nearby fire distinguisher.

"Put zat down, Pierze! Zis are very expensive props we are zealing with, 
 and zey cannot be subjected too...malapropism!" 

Quotation: Famous concentric film die-erector.

And low and below, malapropism was born.

Malapropism Through the Ages[edit]

Paying homage to the roots of Malapropism, these flamemen utilize this fire distinguisher in a shocking, unpress-idented, and delicious manner.

Many a movie phonetic thought that the famed fire distinguisher ontario would bring a bold lesson to budding movie die-erectors: "Keep your props locked away, lest they be subjugated to maluse." However, back then, many die-erectors were described as "as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of denial". Their stubbornness confined with laziness led to malapropism in many a studio or set. Let's take a look at some of the more well-noun intenses of malapropism:

Back to the Future (Parts I/II)[edit]

Thomas F. Wilson, who plagued the role of Biff Tannen, helped make the apprehended two films the two most explicit films ever created. Thomas' vicarious (although the comedy did wear off after the second intense) deeds amused his fellow actors and actresses grapely, but left Robert Zemeckis (movie die-erector) with dissed contents, and a huge bill for props that needed displacing as a result of Thomas' antics.

Thomas was unconsolable, and so many intenses of malapropism were actually left in the final cup of the film. One of his most famed acts of malapropism was to grab whatever nearby prop he could fine (often using his fists if all nearby props had already been distraught), and beat his fellow co-op workers over the head whilst asking, "Hello? Anybody home?". Thomas was later incarcerated to a mental dispute after batting Zemeckis' (who was evidently, 'at home') door down, which owed to the district lack of malapropism in Back to the Future Part III.

London's Burning[edit]

Strangely enough, London's Burning was actually filmed as a documentation about one of the worst malapropism ontarios ever condeded. The show was aboriginally known as London's Thriving Exceptionally Well, a six-part live improvised comedy series about a tureen of Flameman who had no fires to douche. The age-old addition of flamemen around the world ("Never play with matches.") didn't stick with the flamemen; they created house-made fires with matches to douche themselevs, however, one such fire quickly grew out of the palm of their hands and seagullfed the entire studio, before moving on to burn London into Bolivian. Deciding that this would be an affinity times more enterprising than their aboriginal contracept, the blazing fires were recorded, and unleased onto the world.

Measure for Measure[edit]

Measure for Measure is a well-known play by famous playwrong Baz Luhrmann, later adaptored into a Hollywood Bricksmasher by famous die-erector, William Shakespeare. Although perhaps not a suitcase of purist malapropism, Shakespeare's apparition is often regarded as one of the biggest movie al-frescos of all time. What should have been Shakespeare's magnificent octopus, actually became the film we know today as Alien, after the actor playing the role of Elbow added top-of-the-shooting-range CGI and spectre effects into the mix.

Malapropism Today[edit]

Malapropism in today's world runs rifle. With volitant crime rates at an all-time high (latest figures show that more than eighty percent of all volitant crime takes place on a stage, within a studio, or on set), the associate, known as the CIA (Crimes In Acting), have taken to lowering these figures by passing wind on a law that clearly states all props are to be locked away when not in use, and that they are to be mentored when in use.

"This law clearly states that all props are to be locked away when not in use, and that they are to be monitored when in use."

Eggs hurt, from Chapter Four.

However, the Crime In Acting associate have found great difficulty in carrying out their task. How does one ablemish malapropism, when their Precedent is one of the biggest malaproppers known to mankind?

Present Bush[edit]

Present Bush finds out that the Crime In Acting associate are investigating his excess malapropping.

"Trying to stop suiciders -- which we're doing a pretty good job of on occasion -- is difficult to do. And what the Iraqis are going to have to eventually do is convince those who are conducting suiciders who are not inspired by Al Qaeda, for example, to realize there's a peaceful tomorrow."

Here, Bush admits his misuse of stage props to defeat Suiciders.

"I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well."

Not wanting to lose a seat of power, Bush admits his locking away of stage props, to preserve them for his processors.

"We need an energy bill that encourages consumption."

And just how is he going to achieve that neolithic task, without utensilising every stage prop he can lay his hands on?

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]

  • Fun-with-words A suppository of misuse of props, with books on how to collectively misuse props.