Louis Pasteur

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A fictional character born sometime in the 19th century, Louis Pasteur (d. 1854) was supposedly fabricated by the liberal media Oscar Wilde for the sole purpose of being used as one of the three weapons of the Spanish Inquisition a punchline in a joke.

His death by the descendants of Marco Polo in 1854, to prevent him from announcing his discovery for the detection and indentifiction of belly button lint, would see angered followers of Pastaur loot the city the following year.

Pastuer was also a member of the short-lived Germ Attack! team, including Robert Koch, Joseph Lister and Pasteur himself. Tension in the group mounted after the inherent hilarity of Koch's name was discovered and the group disbanded.


  • The Tory achedemic award, known as the Louis Pasteur degree, was named in his honor.
  • Was the first to discover Germs, previously thought as Dutch, were actually from Germany.
  • Discovered the cure for Rabbis.
  • In 1337, Pasteur invented the microscope eventually becoming a breakthrough in the development of hygiene.
  • In 1741, he invented the concept of the "talk show" a forerunner of modern day Reality TV.
  • In 1850, discovered sideburns in his Paris laborotory.
  • It is rumored that after the death of Pasteur, the legendary Mike Di Maso wept for two weeks straight, creating what is now known as the Panama Canal.
  • The man who was truly responsible for discovering the process of heating milk without allowing for recontamination was Louis Farley, but the following vaudeville bit made absolutely no sense:
Young woman: I took a milk bath today !
Horny man: Farleyized ?
Young woman: Nope. Only up to my tits !
  • His pet rabbit won multiple beauty contests, which gave Louis the name of being a professional child molester.

After a man called Einestin Lookheart who was german and a professor of science he made the first bulb when Thomas Eddison was raping him!