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Football in England (Foot + Balls) Kicks are used frequently in soccer – see
And again

The kick was developed by ninjas twenty-thousand years ago as a way of beating people with both hands tied behind their back. A kick is an attack with the leg, usually utilizing the foot or knee. There are a wide variety of awesome ways to kick.

Alternate origins[edit]

A crazy person trying to kick the air

Recent speculation has arose on the kick's origin... Some followers of Shaq believe a kick is the result of Shaquille's anger, and primarily arises when he misses a free throw.

Canada also has made one 2000 years ago that was used for keeping beavers away from the maple syrup.

Simple kicking variations[edit]

And agai... wait... That's not ass-kicking! My bad! Anyway, good job for kicking my camera and Mechagodzilla's penis!

Kicking can be performed in a lot of different ways. First you have to choose whether to kick with your foot or knee. If you choose to kick with your foot, you must choose whether you will use your heel or your toes. You must also choose whether to kick with one leg on the ground, or to jump into the air and kick with one leg and the land on the other.

Awesomer kicks[edit]

Those who are experienced in the art of real ultimate power can often deliver even more impressive kicks that totally kick ass.

Axe kick[edit]

This dude is totally about to get killed by an axe kick.
An axe kick is performed by bringing your leg up, straightening it, and then swiftly bringing down on your opponent, preferably on his head, but a shoulder hit will also work.

Drop kick[edit]

A drop kick is a very severe kind of kick that involves jumping in the air and kicking your opponent in the face or chest with both feet. Afterwards, rather than landing on your own legs, you land on top of your opponent.

Vertical kick[edit]

Fear the vertical kick.
The vertical kick, sometimes called a vert kick for short, is basically an uppercut performed with the foot. Since the performer is also basically doing the splits in mid-air, the kick is performed by women much more often than by men. Not only because it hurts men to do the splits, but also because it puts men in a position where they are likely to get racked.

Celebrity kicks[edit]

A few celebrity ninjas have become famous for new kick variations that they developed themselves.

Trinity kick[edit]

Trinity busting out with her trademark kick.
The Trinity kick is unique because it can only be performed by women, and very few women at that. To be able to perform the Trinity kick a woman must be able to float in midair and then kick her opponent in the chest.

Often the Trinity kick is performed in movies by unathletic women trying to be cool. For an example, see Charlie's Angels.

Women who have performed the Trinity kick:

David Lee Roth kick[edit]

David Lee Roth in the tragic skydiving accident
The unique thing about the David Lee Roth kick (abbreviated as the DLR Kick) is that there is no specific method to perform it. The DLR Kick can be any sort of kick as long as it totally rocks. The DLR Kick was first performed by David Lee Roth – the ninja of rock – in concert. All ninja historians agree that no ninja, or human being, has ever rocked out more hardcore than David Lee Roth, and therefore nobody is capable of matching or dreaming of topping his DLR Kick.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in you ass[edit]

Chuck Norris's trademark kick. Take every other kick you have here, add them together, and multiply by a bafillion . Yeah, you have maybe an eighth of the power in one Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. It is so powerful, even if, by some miraculous event, Chuck Norris should miss you, the wind from the kick will still tear out your spleen, or just make you implode. See how it's the only kick not photographed here? That's because it's too fast for cameras. Too fast for you to survive. Ever.
Behold the power of the roundhouse kick!

These kicks are also proven to spontaneously create trees and other such obstacles behind the unfortunate recipient.

Super secret ninja kick[edit]

Almost as powerful as Chuck Norris's foot to the face. More powerful than the sun crashing into the earth. More powerful than your grandmother's farts after she's eaten a whole bean casserole. More devastating than your parents grounding you. How powerful is it? Almost as powerful as Fluffy Destroyer of Worlds. It is even more powerful than your mother/father/uncle/whoever-in-the-hell-takes-care-of-you. Yes. It is that powerful. It is only executable and done by Jesus.

How To's[edit]

HowTo:Kick Someones Teeph In

HowTo:Kick a man when he's down