Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 3

July 3: International Hot Pocket Day (pictured)

• 1775 - American Revolutionary War: George Washington goes to Cambridge, Massachusetts and takes command of the Continental Army, known for their delicious breakfasts.
• 1776 - The Declaration of Independence is peer reviewed.
• 1805 - Robert Fulton invents steam-powered toilet paper, to no avail.
• 1870 - Oscar Wilde graduates from Maudlin College, Oxford, with a double-first in modern classics and flower arranging.
• 1885 - "He who hath smelt it, dealt it" ruling in federal court sets new legal precedent.
• 1890 - The moderately severe United States Potato Shortage of the 1880s is resolved when Idaho is accepted as the 43rd U.S. state.
• 1939 - Coco Laboy, future Montreal Expos 3rd baseman and creator of the "daily double", is born.
• 1978 - Conceptual artist Humphrey Crawford exhibits his piece Oil, Urine and Diesel on Canvas.
• 1996 - Jeff Goldblum finally begins to figure out how to take down the aliens.
• 1983 - After a wild night of passion between a Pop Tart and a mediocre plate of Italian food, the Hot Pocket is conceived.
• 2005 - The Hot Pocket develops a strange illness and becomes Croissant Pocket.
• 2014 - Self-heating Hot Pockets with white phosphorus turn out to be extremely popular with arsonists but no one else.