Jim Cramer
“BooYeah? BooYah!; BooYah! BooYah! BooYah! BooYah! BooYah! BooYah!”
“YOU KNOW NOTHING!!!!!!”
James "Jim" J. Cramer (born February 10, 1955) is the foremost American authority on the stock market, and has a website and associated show called RealMoney, where he advises investors on what to do with their money. Since many Americans are stupid and utterly lacking in initiative, this unique situation makes it possible for traders to simply sell any stock Cramer touts for an instant profit, also screwing those stupid enough to trust in the underlying company.
Early Years[edit]
Cramer started out in journalism where he learned about various companies by being forced to report news on them, got bored, and decided that he might as well invest the money he had in the companies he was writing about. This paid off, and eventually, Cramer was to make millions, both for investors at an investment brokerage he worked for and for himself with his paycheck. Thus, through the carefully executed method of pump 'n' dump, he gained wide popularity as he does today.
Now[edit]
Eventually, Cramer realized that he couldn't be right all the time, and quickly adapted to the changing market; Cramer sought publicity, and began to pump stocks -- a profitable strategy that turned into a useful sexual appliance.
On Cramer's radio show, RealMoney, he discusses various stocks relevant to the current economic climate. One of his greatest successes was to spot the Enron disaster before it happened, although much of Wall Street claims that Cramer was privy to information that made the looming scandal obvious; such as the bi-weekly sauna visits with Skilling.
The Street[edit]
Cramer now heads "The Street," a company dedicated to bringing investment information to the public, with a number of spin-off subscriptions available, making it the company of choice for the Investor Without A Clue;® something similar to the successful "Teach Your Toddler to Spot-Weld"™ series.
RealMoney[edit]
RealMoney is a show which, if you strip off the clichés, hyperbole, overblown host and ridiculous introduction, is crap and sometimes succeeds in making penny stocks look like a safe alternative. Jim Cramer's uniquely bad reading of the stock market may in fact be one of the most reliable market indicators of all. One following his recommendations could quickly lose more money than Warren Buffet could ever dream of making. However, many people have amassed great fortunes from shorting stocks recommended by Cramer.
Origins of BooYah![edit]
Many believe that Cramer invented the phrase BooYah! and was something he frequently said after (and during) pumping a stock, making him the Steve Ballmer of the financial world. In fact, Cramer only came up with BooYah! after hearing Stuart Scott say it on SportsCenter.