HowTo:Make an Article That Will Get Deleted
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Creating an article that will get deleted is a process that will require a precise and concentrated mind of simplism. Follow this procedure to make sure your article will be huffed like a Chicken at a KFC convention.
Step 0: Origins
Write an article about yourself. It's bad enough you exist. Must you remind the whole world? And make sure that you include swearing about others, as this will make you a twat, and the process will be quicker. Also try to type while not looking at the keyboard, as many spelling mistakes will occur. Don't think before you type too. Intelligence is not recommended when writing. Also, thinking will supply you with ideas, and ideas spark coherent articles. Coherent articles are actually a good thing, so do not do this. And lastly, praise Justin Bieber. Instant huff awaits.
Make sure that you don't know know what you are doing, you don't want the article to turn out perfect.
Once you've started the article, just type and keep typing. Making it a long one will help. If you make a shitty long article, users will be more pissed off at you and hate you more unless you name your article "Springtime for Hitler". Make sure your article is either longer than the Iliad, or an extremely short four word article. Though most deleted articles seem to be so random that it's no wonder they got deleted, they are actually quite formulaic. Most deleted articles always have one of the features to be explained in the next section.
Things Every Deleted Article Should Have
Use unfunny humour and Spam profusely. Also repeat everything you wrote. Make sure you use incorrect spelling as well. Also repeat everything you wrote. Also act like a noob, as this will anger the population and will get you kicked into a void. Even act just downright stupid, that might work. Insult users with gusto, and make sure you never let down, as this will make you a coward. Heck, just speak gibberish, it will be considered the ramblings of the madman which you are. Swearing in insults help too, as it's more offensive, and it makes you a Fucktard. And lastly, use images that are either innapropriare or are completely random, such as the photo on the right.
Work some or all of these ingredients into the article and bake until it is golden brown and delicious. Then reveal to the population and sit back and watch the anger and insults. Enjoy it, you might be banned or even better awarded with Death. Occasionaly though, a crappy article will be retained and considered a work of art. If this happens to your article, you will be named The Chosen One and you will be considered a God among Users. Enjoy it now, there will be doubters.
Step 1.5: Finish your Article
Though this step is often followed, not finishing your article will almost guarantee that your article will be deleted. Due to this, ignoring this step is recommended. Also don't mark it as a stub, as it's like hooking yourself up to a life support machine while you're trying to kill yourself. A moot point, so I'd continue on to step 2.
Step 2: Wait
Wait for someone to place a Vote For Deletion on your article. Shouldn't take long, knowing you.
Final Tips For Getting Your Article Baleeted
- Put an NRV template on your article. In about a week, your article could become a candidate for deletion; just make sure you make no more changes to the page during that week.
- Whore out your article any way you can. This way, more people can see how much your article sucks, which means more people voting for your article to be deleted. Try for the high score, if you wish.
- Make sure people vandalise your article contstantly, as most constantly vandalised articles get deleted.
- And finally, keep changing the tone of the article every paragraph. Only confused idiots would do tha- Oh wait.
Step 3: Mission Accomplished!
Congratulations! Your God-awful page has been deleted. You should be proud of how shitty your article was. If you like, you could write another article that lacks redeeming value;however, continuing to do so might get you banned. But with articles as terrible as the ones you write, I'm sure you'll be banned. Or if not that, at the very least, get one of those "Useless Gobshite" awards you seem to want so badly. Either way, someone is rewarded.
And that is how to create an article that will get deleted, and now that you have read this, please notify everyone of this, as it could be used in reverse psychology to create a great and infamous article.
Remember, If you do this too well, your article will not be deleted, and you will be forever branded a genius. At this point I suggest you scrap the whole thing and try again. Oh, and don't forget to make it worse!