HowTo:Get Yourself a Writing Partner by Using the "How To" as a FREE Advertisment for my Needy Cause.
This is a step-by-step guide for those who've just recently discovered the existence of other people after having their heads pulled out of their own asses, and who just might work better when bouncing ideas off someone else who has as warped a fucked-up sense of imagination and "humor" as themselves.
Realize You Suck
The first thing you need to do is accept that you are an asshole. Instead of waiting around patiently to come up with a decent idea, you have instead been writing whatever gibberish putrid of crap you can think of on the spot, and make others suffer by submitting the article you wrote to the site, knowing damn well you could do something much better, but you suck, so you didn't.
Advertising for a Tag-Team Partner
Next you will need to write a not-so cleverly disguised advert for what you are looking for in a writing partner. Make sure to include what sort of person it is you are looking for. Like lets say for example; Someone who wants to actually be this person, willing to do it for free, has the same messenger services you do, like MSN or YAHOO. They must possess quality, or at least be a funny person, and lets say for more example on clarification of that matter, someone who likes sick/dark/whacky/zaney/off the wall/comic style of humor... and not someone who thought Napoleon Dynamite was in any way a funny movie at all.
Just Lookin' for a FRIEND
Assure those reading the advert that you are not gay, and that this is strictly just a partnership, but not like a physical partnership, involving hot naked manly chests pressed up tight against one another glistening bodies as they take each others man-hood in their heavenly embrace and go down on one anothers massive erect.... euhhh... (cough)
What I mean is, it's strictly professional, no funny business... unless you want that... NO!, NO!. NO! IM NOT GAY, I WAS NEVER CONFUSED. ... ok, calm down. breath deep, breath deep. (cough) okay... so, I think I've made it quite clear, that this is just looking for someone to write articles with, and not writing about what steamy hot sex they had..... NO! I mean, I mean, ummmm.... Steamy hot sex they had WITH other people, yeah, thats what I meant... like two guy's writing about the girls they made girly love to... or something?
Women May Not Apply
Ladies, Please, APPLY tho you haven't a chance in hell at landing the position
Oh yes, of coarse, ladies are most welcome to apply. And nothing will happen between us, I can assure you that, I am quite the gentlemen and will treat you with utter respect and dignity and all that sort of shit.
Tell Them How To Apply
Well, simply come to
my their page and leave a message! So who is the person advertising? Well, if you don't know how to find out, then you won't know then will you... but if you do find me them, make sure to submit some of your best work, and pictures of yourself, LOTS of pictures of yourself... and maybe a camera, and glass of champagne while you're at it, big boy miss/mr applicant.
Write some more "blah blah blah" then fill the page up with stupid eye-distracting pictures so any of the admins glancing over new articles will see it LOOKS genuine, while not suspecting you are actually trying to
land a date find a writing partner.
Wait for responses and all your dreams will come true.