HowTo:Blow up Earth
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So, if you wanted to blow up Earth, killing every human being on it, you came to the right place!
You will need
- Chuck Norris (optional, but speeds up destruction process).
- Windows Vista.
- A 1Yotta-ton antimatter nuke
- A Xindi weapon
- This information
- A calculator
- A camera (to record earth exploding)
- A kinky leather outfit
Method 1: Using Windows Vista
- Step 1: Invite Chuck Norris to come to your house. (optional, but speeds up destruction process)
- NOTE: Whilst waiting for a reply put on the kinky leather outfit
- Step 2: Go to the start menu and click on Run.
- Step 3: Type in cmd and run with admin privileges
- Step 4: Type in nuke. If you have Chunk Norris, then type in nuke /C.
- Step 5: Press enter
- Step 6: record with your camera and run away
- Step 7: die and become every necrophiliac's dream (You'll be fucked heaps because of the outfit)
Method 2: Using an Antimatter Nuke
- Step 1: Collide a ton of matter together in the Large Crap Collider.
- Step 2: Grab the big chunk of antimatter and put it inside a bomb
- Step 3: Tape up the bomb, drop it in center of earth and light the fuse
- Step 4: Record with cam and die
File:Destruction of Earth Here's a perfect example of an Earth explosion taken with a camera.
Method 3: Firing your Lazar
- Step 1: Find a Xindi weapon.
- Step 2: If you can't find one, then don't worry, we have a guide for newbies on how to fire lazers.
- Step 3: Build a spaceship and travel into space
- Step 4: Grab your camera and then shoot the lazer at earth
- Step 5: Wait for absolute MaJic.
Method 4: Dividing by zero
- Step 1: Grab a calculator (or use AppleScript or an online calculator).
- Step 2: Enter this in: 0 / 0
- Step 3: Press the big Equals button, recording at the same time.
- Step 4: Run away, die
Method 5: Last Rezort
If NOTHING worked, there is still 1 solution that will work 99.∞x9 percent of the time. For the 1 person that didn't work for, then go here.
- Step 1: Go to This page
- Step 2: Right click on tab and select Duplicate
- Step 3: Continue duplicating until your computer explodes, also grab a cam
- Step 4: run and die