HowTo:Blow up Earth

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's HowTo series.
See more HowTos
The Earth 0.05 seconds before it blew up

So, if you wanted to blow up Earth, killing every human being on it, you came to the right place!

You will need[edit]

Method 1: Using Windows Vista[edit]

  • Step 1: Invite Chuck Norris to come to your house. (optional, but speeds up destruction process)
  • NOTE: Whilst waiting for a reply put on the kinky leather outfit
  • Step 2: Go to the start menu and click on Run.
  • Step 3: Type in cmd and run with admin privileges
  • Step 4: Type in nuke. If you have Chunk Norris, then type in nuke /C.
  • Step 5: Press enter
  • Step 6: record with your camera and run away
  • Step 7: die and become every necrophiliac's dream (You'll be fucked heaps because of the outfit)

Method 2: Using an Antimatter Nuke[edit]

  • Step 1: Collide a ton of matter together in the Large Crap Collider.
  • Step 2: Grab the big chunk of antimatter and put it inside a bomb
  • Step 3: Tape up the bomb, drop it in center of earth and light the fuse
  • Step 4: Record with cam and die

File:Destruction of Earth Here's a perfect example of an Earth explosion taken with a camera.

Method 3: Firing your Lazar[edit]

  • Step 1: Find a Xindi weapon.
  • Step 2: If you can't find one, then don't worry, we have a guide for newbies on how to fire lazers.
  • Step 3: Build a spaceship and travel into space
  • Step 4: Grab your camera and then shoot the lazer at earth
  • Step 5: Wait for absolute MaJic.

Method 4: Dividing by zero[edit]

  • Step 1: Grab a calculator (or use AppleScript or an online calculator).
  • Step 2: Enter this in: 0 / 0
  • Step 3: Press the big Equals button, recording at the same time.
  • Step 4: Run away, die

Method 5: Last Rezort[edit]

If NOTHING worked, there is still 1 solution that will work 99.∞x9 percent of the time. For the 1 person that didn't work for, then go here.

  • Step 1: Go to This page
  • Step 2: Right click on tab and select Duplicate
  • Step 3: Continue duplicating until your computer explodes, also grab a cam
  • Step 4: run and die