Google Video
What is Google Video?[edit]
Google Video is the latest in a series of unoriginal innovations from Google, the multi-billion dollar company founded by Sirgay Page and Larry Brin. Google Video brings Google one step closer to their ultimate target of world domination by allowing users to view streaming footage from any webcam in the world or the underworld.
How have they done it?[edit]
Besides very carefully, Google, being the majority share-holder of the Internet since 2003, have legal access to all information stored on any machine, appliance or person with an Internet connection. This includes classified Pentagon files, the entire You've Been Framed archive and, indeed, streaming webcam footage/audio. In recent years hackers have become increasingly commonplace and certain computer-users have decided to installed 'firewalls' in a attempt to stop hackers from re-arranging their desktop icons and impersonating them on MSN Messenger. Google has managed to bypass this inconvenience by using a combination of spyware, blackmail and indecent exposure.
Google Video's introduction[edit]
Use of Google Video is gradually becoming more widespread and in an independent survey of 'Mind-Numbing Activities', conducted in December 2005, the public rated it 3rd out of 20, beaten only by 'Watching Paint Dry' at 2nd, with 'Big Brother' at the top-spot. Although some webcam users are opposed to what Google is doing, others have realized that they can use the service to stage their own 'shows'. Popular acts include un-interesting footage of family members, lame guitar solos, stupid lip-syncing to crappy euro-pop and hour long web-casts of nerds playing 'World Of Warcraft'. Several Google Video users including Victoria Beckham and rock sensation, McFly, have been launched into show-business through their online antics, as Google Video becomes an increasingly used as a recruiting ground for talent scouts.
The future of Google Video[edit]
Sources say that at the end of 2004, 1 in 10 households had a webcam, and by 2060 this figure is expected to double if you multiply it by 2. But how is Google planning to use Google Video to aid their domination of the planet? Rumors hint of plans involving several goats, the Google Orbital Death-Ray and extravagant amounts of Chinese take-away, although sources can be described as 'non-existent' at best.