Forum:I saw this wonderful new Twilight film

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It was so beautiful. I don't even know how to describe it. The moans, the imagery, the long drawn-out scenes of Bella's face, the battles, the drama! Oh gods, the drama... man, you all should have been there. It was amazing, especially the use of sound effects. I almost cried when Jacob saw that CGI baby, and when Bella was being a corpse, why, such amazing acting. I'd never seen anything like it, except all those other times she acted like a corpse, but you know how it is to be a teenager. Trying times, man. Trying times, and this just captures it so wonderfully.

I just... wanted to share. 1234 ~ 06:04, 18 November 2011

I would post a very pithy comment, but I watch ponies, so I'm ineligible.

*shifty eyes.* *runs.* -- Sir "TheSlyPony" Invariably certifiable. 06:35 November 18, 2011 (UTC)

Twilight is awful. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 07:42, November 18, 2011 (UTC)

I don't get it Twilight... then again such a handsome and intelligent specimen of a man as myself probably shouldn't.--Sycamore (Talk) 09:17, November 18, 2011 (UTC)

“Harry Potter is about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend”

~ Stephen King on Twilight

I just saw the trailer and really enjoyed it, can't wait to see the whole shebang. In fact I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at a film trailer. And they say there are no good comedies anymore. --Black Flamingo 22:31, November 18, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, it's something else, man. Trailer was funny enough, and the film itself doesn't let down, unintentional or not. It was a theater full of rabid fans, though, so we tried to keep the level of sniggering down, and keep the commentary to whispers. And so much to comment on. Plot holes, weird directing, bad acting, downright inaccuracy, nonsense... and all pulled off in such a way as it seems almost intentional. May have to go back later, though. No telling what all we might have missed the first time through.

1234 ~ 17:01, 19 November 2011

What are you on about.

Dusk is a beautiful time of day.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Nov 18 '11 8:33 (UTC)

I love watching dusk movies. They're the best! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 03:16, 19 November 2011

Twilight?

I thought the only Twilight anybody on the internet ever cared about anymore was that moronic Twilight Sparkle from MLP. Oh! You mean that new movie, Twilight: Breaking Wind (Part One)! Yeah... that's a fail. ~[ths] UotM 23:28, 11/18/2011

Twilight Sparkle? Was she the one from Hot Black French Nurses 4? Or was that Liquorice Lippz? --Black Flamingo 23:40, November 18, 2011 (UTC)

Actually, there's so much Rule 34 insanity out there, I'm sure one could easily find such a variation of the character. Also, as candidate for Supreme Ruler of Everything, my official position on Rule 34 is to pretend it does not exist. Unlike PIGGY. And Buccaneer Batman. -- Sir "TheSlyPony" Invariably certifiable. 03:11 November 19, 2011 (UTC)

Do you ever talk about anything other than MLP? --HM (T) 23:49, November 19, 2011 (UTC)

He's actually a fan in denial. -- Sir "TheSlyPony" Invariably certifiable. 02:48 November 20, 2011 (UTC)

It is pretty odd how interested he is with something he apparently dislikes. --HM (T) 03:12, November 20, 2011 (UTC)

I am a fan of Twilight

So screw you all, beyotches!!!! --Scofield & 1337 13:51, November 19, 2011 (UTC)

Let me guess... Team Edward?

1234 ~ 17:01, 19 November 2011

The story of a girls choice to practice either bestiality or, well, necrophilia. --Nikau 17:26, November 19, 2011 (UTC)

I might admit to being a fan of at least one Japanese TV series centered around battles where powerful creatures are summoned using some small object that usually has a real-life equivalent of these battles in the form of a game, except in real life, you don't actually get to summon any creatures. But I'd be the first to admit that the premise (and often what follows after the premise too) is utter bole-shit. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 17:40, 19 November 2011

@Lyrithya I'm team Edward, 'cause the love story kinda began with him.

@Nikau- Stop making cheap digs and acting like a dick. The "necrophilia joke" is really dumb and old.

@Socky- If Twilight was realistic, Edward Cullen and his family would kinda be like a bunch of schizophrenic animal killers with weird contact-lenses. I think Robert Pattinson even said something similar in this regard. Anyway, somebody who actually thinks about fictitious tales along such lines is a moron. --Scofield & 1337 17:47, November 19, 2011 (UTC)

Mon, please - Nikau's a legitimate joke. Perhaps not a good one, but this is Uncyclopedia; when are they ever? Please don't take it seriously.

1234 ~ 19:06, 19 November 2011

How can you seriously like something so filled with stupidity and inaccuracy? Also, this = the best blog. --HM (T) 23:20, November 19, 2011 (UTC)

You are all dead to me <3 ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 23:22, November 19, 2011 (UTC)

...why? :| --HM (T) 23:46, November 19, 2011 (UTC)

Twilight is awful. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 23:52, November 19, 2011 (UTC)

What does tht have to do with anything? There is exactly one person defending it in this thread. --HM (T) 00:07, November 20, 2011 (UTC)

As a teenage girl, I would like to defend The Twilight and The Edward and the girl. As a man in my thirties....I'm staying right out of this. mAttlobster. (hello) 00:18, November 20, 2011 (UTC)

I don't often change the Edit Summary and as such my last one was "I am a fan of Twilight". I blame Scofield and his Friends (especially "the funny one") for this and my edit summary for this comment will hopefully rectify my previous embarrassment. mAttlobster. (hello) 00:22, November 20, 2011 (UTC)

Even Rule34 is better than twilight.--FcukmanLOOS3R!!! 07:34, November 20, 2011 (UTC)

I have read a Stephanie Meyer novel. It was not from the Twilight Series.

I admire her, I frankly confess it. And when her time comes, I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Sun, Nov 20 '11 2:40 (UTC)

Would I be right in suggesting that those who don't like Twilight are actually not big fans of love stories (especially those "I will always love you even if it kills me type of stories")? And I don't know how many of you actually know this, but the entire series is full of self-referential humor. Bella, Edward AND Jacob have called themselves crazy or masochistic at some point or another.

Oh how love tortures one! How it terrifies one, how it often tries to fight with basic survival instincts! But if love was not no blind and crazy, would it still be love?

PS- @Bizzeebeaver, did you just imply that Stephenie Meyer would kill herself! How could you?!! --Scofield & 1337 20:52, November 20, 2011 (UTC)

No, I'm implying she'll be executed in a country which still utilizes hanging as a capital punishment, for her crimes against humanity.  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Nov 22 '11 8:09 (UTC)

I like love stories. I like good love stories. Not badly-written Mary Sue bullshit. And ohhh, they insulted themselves due to their severe teen angst. That totally makes it a good story. --HM (T) 01:51, November 21, 2011 (UTC)

Aw man, show me some love here! --Scofield & 1337 08:37, November 21, 2011 (UTC)

To be honest, I think love stories tend to be so tiresomely unoriginal that I hate them for it. So I'll give you that. Seriously, is there a Hollywood movie that doesn't involve the protagonist getting the babe? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 17:40, 21 November 2011

Yes. The movie of my life. *Sniff* Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 19:42, November 21, 2011 (UTC)

@Socky Movies are not the only kind of story. @Scofield No, Twilight sucks and I'm not going to pretend it doesn't. --HM (T) 23:10, November 21, 2011 (UTC)

Haters gonna hate

What is it with all the haters these days? So many people are into "hating" popular things, so much that it has become an alternate level of fandom. We might even call them "Fans from Hell." I remember back in the day, I used to be a Yu-gi-oh and Digimon hater. Today, people either hate Twilight, My Little Pony or Justin Bieber (never mind, he sucks). However lately, I have learned not to "hate" anything. Instead, I simply recognize certain franchises as things I'm not particularly fond of. The point is, wouldn't it be more productive to "love" the things we love, rather than "hate" the things we dislike? ...Though my post here is probably going to become the new thing everybody loves to hate: "I H8 TEHSLYFOX! HE'S A STUPIDY, STUPID... STUPID-PANTS!" -- Sir "TheSlyPony" Invariably certifiable. 00:49 November 22, 2011 (UTC)

Anybody who likes to say "Haters gonna hate" is a sissy and moron by default. You're alright though. For a weenie. --Roman Dog Bird 01:12, November 22, 2011 (UTC)

Not everything is subjective. Some things, like Twilight, are just objectively bad - there is plenty of evidence towards this conclusion and thus, if you like it, you're wrong. When it comes to media, most things are subjective, but if everything was, we'd have no basis for saying Queen is better than Justin Bieber. --HM (T) 02:48, November 22, 2011 (UTC)

Let's be honest here, though. Things that are popular usually are because they have the cliché special effects explosions, overly dramatic love scenes, chick fights, gore porn or whatever suits a large amount of people's fancy, as well as a lot of publicity. These things don't exactly ensure that the product is of high quality. In fact, these things considerably help people to look past the quality of the writing and enjoy whatever they're watching/reading/listening to. Which is essentially what the entertainment industry is for in the first place, but that still doesn't change anything about the actual quality of the thing. Additionally, I might add that quality is defined by the extent it surpasses what is common (read: popular), so the cliché dichotomy of popular vs quality is a necessary one. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 03:21, 22 November 2011

That...that...I am speechless, Sock. There is nothing that should be said beyond this point. Nothing!

(Although, if I can secure the funding for my screenplay, which is filled with explosions, overly-dramatic love scenes, chick fights and gore porn, will you direct it?)  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Nov 22 '11 8:07 (UTC)

(Sure thing.) —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 20:22, 22 November 2011

"My Little Pony"? Pah! Back in my day we had My Regular Sized Pony, and we were happy, dagnabit! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 04:59, November 22, 2011 (UTC)

MLP , Bieber and twilight all suck. But the worst is possibly "Grawp's conquest of wikiland" ,"Pokemon Nonsense" or "Captain jimbo wales vs the 10 1337 Haxorz of wikipedia".

@HELPME "Objectively bad"? Jeez, you ever heard of a Mr Know-It-All? If somebody bashes up or mocks things I'm fond of (like Twilight in this case) I get hurt, but it's his opinion, I can't exactly beat him up for it. If somebody goes as far as saying I'm wrong for liking said thing, it really pisses me off. Obviously, you and me have radically different definitions of what good story and good writing mean, but trying to force your definitions on me, and citing "evidence" to support your claims, is pure dickery and one-upmanship in my opinion. (what evidence are you talking about? Bad reviews? Stephen King? Well, I could bring box-office receipts into the equation and this would become an all-out war of money-vs-merit!) You say you're "not going to pretend Twilight doesn't suck" (if you said you're not going to pretend to be a fan, I would have respected that a lot more), well I'm not going to pretend I'm utterly pissed off at your increasingly arrogant and moralizing tone. At least the blog you linked to was decent enough to respect the opinions of people like me.

@Socky- Bloody cynic! Me haetz j00! --Scofield & 1337 06:34, November 23, 2011 (UTC)

The practice of getting hurt and/or pissed off because somebody likes something different than you (even if they say you're wrong for liking it, etc.) is a useless waste of emotions. People like different shit. If you like something, you like it. Enjoy it and allow yourself to get on with your life. As Confucious said, "Penis." -RAHB 06:47, November 23, 2011 (UTC)

Get over it. Me disliking what you like is certainly not a reason to whine as if I beat up your children. Popularity=/=quality, some things are just better than others. And your definition of good writing and storytelling really sucks, then. --HM (T) 17:01, November 23, 2011 (UTC)

LEAVE...SCOFIELD...ALONE!!!!

Folks around here like to pretend that Twilight doesn't exist, and when a fan of the series pops in and shows unabashed love for it, it's irritating. So they take joy in provoking aforementioned fan. Scofield, here's how it stands: you're a bear in a cage, and everyone who has posted here is a small child with a sharp stick. (Translation: you're being trolled.) :D  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Nov 23 '11 6:54 (UTC)

That works too. -RAHB 06:55, November 23, 2011 (UTC)

Scofield has Z-cups.--FcukmanLOOS3R!!! 07:36, November 23, 2011 (UTC)

Ah, well. At least you all could have done it in good humor. Well, you actually did do it that way, except for me who has a similar attitude to that of Hitler i am trolling now, bitches!--Scofield & 1337 11:16, November 23, 2011 (UTC)

P.S. I LIKE TO EAT SHIT LOL--Scofield & 1337 11:16, November 23, 2011 (UTC)

No one is trolling. --HM (T) 16:58, November 23, 2011 (UTC)

HELP ME! Hello. Reminds me, I should add an edit to Warm piss water! The Twilight films remind me of wolves and vampires for some reason. Aleister 17:00 23-11-'11

I wonder why that is. Also, <3 hi. --HM (T) 17:03, November 23, 2011 (UTC)

/me plans to watch Twilight this evening. (Now who is trolling who?) -- Simsilikesims(♀GUN) Talk here. 17:05, November 23, 2011 (UTC)

Just a warning, next time Mr-ex777 screws with my comments, I take him to Ban Patrol. (what, he would have done the same thing to me!) The fact that my comments have been trivialized and butchered like this is irrefutable proof that I have been trolled, victimized and cyberbullied simply for admitting that I'm a Twilight fan! NOBOY LOVEZ ME ANYMORE, U ALL SUCK GHEY COCK!!!!!!! --Scofield & 1337 20:46, November 23, 2011 (UTC)

Dear god I hope you're not serious. --HM (T) 21:21, November 23, 2011 (UTC)

I am. But somebody got to him first. He's lucky it wasn't me. I get all stabby. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 00:13, November 25, 2011 (UTC)

LEAVE TWILIGHT ALONE

It sucks get over it. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 08:48, November 24, 2011 (UTC)

Yes it is indeed.--FcukmanLOOS3R!!! 09:53, November 24, 2011 (UTC)

Can everybody stop acting like immature pricks now? It's getting a bit tiresome. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:03, 24 November 2011

@HELPME No, I stopped being serious the moment somebody typed LEAVE....SCOFIELD...ALONE!!! as a header. But seriously ppl, stop messing up my comments! --Scofield & 1337 12:30, November 24, 2011 (UTC)

Why bother?

Isn't the whole Twilight sux fad old already? What is this? 2008? --Wilytank can be a pain in the ass. 16:09, November 24, 2011 (UTC)

I thought the "Justin Bieber sucks" fad was old too, but what can I say? Hate never gets old. And it shall bring down the fall of man, when God Himself rains fire upon the blasphemers! (I just hated on blasphemers! See, we can't help it!) --Scofield & 1337 17:32, November 24, 2011 (UTC)

Everyone just likes bitching about things, whether they actually dislike them or not. A lot of it is bandwagon. --HM (T) 19:01, November 24, 2011 (UTC)

*Pbbt*. I liked the bandwagon before it was cool. Hipster 00:14, November 25, 2011 (UTC)

Actually, I just mentioned Justin Bieber because I think that musically, he's a hack who just happens to have a face that young girls go insane over. I wouldn't even bring him up if there hadn't been a period of time when you couldn't go anywhere without seeing a video of him parading around like a jackass. He just happens to be the most convenient example of somebody whom everyone hates. I won't insult anyone who likes him; I dislike most any music produced after 1990. Also, I can think of more than one time when I was the only person in a crowded movie theater to actually like the movie being shown. I really don't like to hate on anything. Yes, Bieber sucks, but so does every other signed musician these days. Last time I listened to a Top 40 radio station, Kelly Clarkson was howling "LIFE WOULD SUCK WITHOUT YOU." Where the hell did even vaguely intelligent music go? ...But yeah, why bother? :P -- Sir "TheSlyPony" Invariably certifiable. 08:12 November 25, 2011 (UTC)

The only reason why I don't really mind people bitching about Justin Bieber is cause a lot of them have a good sense of humor, and the hating has been done to death. But some of the stuff Internet trolls and even my own brother say about him should land them in a psych ward. --Scofield & 1337 08:34, November 25, 2011 (UTC)

“You know, that fucking leech should just kill himself. I'm surprised the lynch mob hasn't done him already. I don't really know, like, why his family didn't disown that fag, he's so gay!”

~ See what I mean?

Ouch. Yeah, that ain't hatin' ... that's just hate. On a side note, somebody should write an Aristocrats joke about Bieber. That would be a new take on everything, actually. -- Sir "TheSlyPony" Invariably certifiable. 09:09 November 25, 2011 (UTC)

Did you just say young girls find Bieber's face attractive? Let's see, his twitter account's got over 6 million followers, probably almost exclusively girls, so... Wow, that's a lot of lesbians. :3 —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 01:00, 27 November 2011

I used to be into that JB hate too, but it was back when I wasn't 18 yet and my mind was in the gutter. Now, I don't give two shits. --Wilytank can be a pain in the ass. 01:41, November 27, 2011 (UTC)

We're on Uncyclopedia, right? I always thought this place the very definition of "gutter." ^_~ Besides, I passed eighteen several years ago, and my mind never left the proverbial gutter! -- Sir "TheSlyPony" Invariably certifiable. 01:53 November 28, 2011 (UTC)

So that means ED are the alligator-infested sewers, right? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 01:58, 28 November 2011

Speaking of Educationally Disabled, Oh Internet! still has the same amount of humor as the original site, just a little less spammy and safer (unconfirmed) for children. It's still not- OH MAI GAWD ITS ED REFUGEE!!! --Gamma287 05:34, November 28, 2011 (UTC)

@TheSlyFox Lies! There are a few modern musicians who are good! Muse, for example. BEST BAND ALIVE! And Coldplay, if only because their songs are super catchy and have awesome lyrics. ~[ths] UotM 02:01, 11/30/2011

Pah! The future is klezmer. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 05:57, November 30, 2011 (UTC)