UnNews:Dead Sea Scrolls reveal advice

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Dead Sea Scrolls)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
UnFair and UnBalanced ✪ UnNews ✪ Thursday, April 3, 2025, 22:16:59 (UTC)
Dead Sea Scrolls reveal advice UnNews Logo Potato.png

17 May 2006

“How can you get useful information from a DEAD Sea Scroll?”

~ Alfred E. Neuman on The Scriptures

ISRAEL -- Last week, in a surpising announcement, the International Commission to Translate the Dead Sea Scrolls revealed that it had translated an entire section, using altavista's "babel-fish" function.

That section, now called the "Lost Proverbs", has been released to the press for inspection. The team of translators is still confused as to why these proverbs were hidden. Also, there are no indicators who the advice is for.

One translator said, "yeah, we sat around with it for months, and we couldn't figure out who was giving advice to whom. So we said screw it, lets publish what we have..."

UnNews has been given the initial exclusive to the new list of proverbs. As a note of caution, the translation team warns that each individual might interpret the list differently. Here are the 43 Lost Proverbs, use them wisely:


The 43 Lost Proverbs[edit]

  1. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  2. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  3. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  4. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  5. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  6. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  7. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  8. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  9. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  10. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  11. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  12. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  13. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  14. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  15. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  16. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  17. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  18. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  19. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  20. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  21. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  22. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  23. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  24. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  25. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  26. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  27. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  28. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  29. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  30. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  31. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  32. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  33. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  34. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  35. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  36. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  37. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  38. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  39. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  40. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  41. To hack a mouse, is to hack carefully
  42. To hack a mouse, is to hack {{adv})
  43. Matt Groening is a real peach.

Sources[edit]

  • the International Commission to Translate the Dead Sea Scrolls

Notes[edit]

We're still trying to find the segment that contains the instructions on how to build giant angst-powered mechs.

Retrieved from "https://uncyclopedia.com/w/index.php?title=UnNews:Dead_Sea_Scrolls_reveal_advice&oldid=6187983"