Dave Marino

“The only difference between a bass and a guitar are the strings.”

~ Emo Dave on himself

Emo Dave in 2001.

David Michael Stevens "Emo Dave" Marino Jr., also known as MacDavid or his stage name DJ Manno, is the best skateboarder, guitarist, bassist, turntablist, and hobo in the world. He is Chinese and gives free bass guitar lessons in an alley in China with his laptop. Seriously cool, am I right? The book only costs $3.99 too! He is portrayed by Sid Vicious in the Food Man Group film series.

Box

Emo Dave's cardboard box is small. Very small. Smaller than small itself. If you actually discover his box, you will probably step on it and Emo Dave will have nowhere to live. Who the fuck cares, anyway. He chose to drop out of school and become a death metal singer. Of course, he was unsuccessful. Idiot.

Lessons

The only expense to you is the huge amount of $3.99, or at least it's huge to Emo Dave and his lover, a stick of butter. The book is imported from China by way of a large UFO and then a Mexican mailman appears at your doorstep, kicks you in the balls, and runs away, leaving you your book. You then can log onto Emo Dave's website and watch his live videos, or cry at the fact that you spent $3.99 on pure shit.

Selected videography

• Tuning
• Holding your bass
• Basics
• Some notes
• Some more notes
• Playing bass on Guitar Hero
• Playing bass on Rock Band
• You are a bass god!

See also

• Bass guitar
• Hobo