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DNS or Dominant Neutering System (aka Dick Nuts Scrotum, or simply Dennis) is a system of the internet which masks easy to remember numbers with long, hard, confusing words or phrases.

Why DNS exists?[edit]

It was discovered that portions of the population had difficulty remembering strings of numbers for long periods of time. A strange correlation was later discovered between that percentage of the populance and the percentage of people that were unemployed, mentally retarded, or scientologists, but still corporations wanted the ability to advertise to them. DNS takes IP addresses, such as or 90210, and masks them with long hard to convey words, such as www.grillmycheeseandbuyaneggplc.de. The original intent was to alias these addresses with short, easy names, but in the early 1790s campers and system admins with nothing to do bought up every conceivable word 6 letters or less. Squatters even bought then-nonsense words such as MILF, merkin, and Department of Homeland Security.

Flushing DNS[edit]

In the late '90s, would be hackers invented a popular game called "Flushing the DNS." This involved taking all the DNS servers and literally flushing them down a toliet. Whoever managed to rid the world of the most DNS servers won. Tragically (or thankfully, depending on your interpretation) the first dns flush attempt resulted in:

  • A) The plumbing backing up
  • B) The untimely drowning of the geek that invented the game
  • C) The timely drowning of the geek's cat. Life had been growing a bit too complacent for the cat. She is now in a better place, enjoying her remaining 8 lives.
  • D) The invention of the ipconfig /flushdns command

It has been speculated that the flushdns command mentioned above was a tribute to the shortlived game itself. This is only partailly true. The geek's Legal name was in fact Ipconfig Flush Dns. His parents maintained that they named him this because it reminds them of how he was conceived. The geek's friends all called him IP. To be fair though, after the demise of IP's cat's first life, that statement should now read His friend called him IP

DNS Poetry[edit]

There is art in everything, however, if you seek it then you really need a blowie. Here is the first short poem to include DNS.

My DNS is in DMZ but my FTP just let it be, my LAN and POP3 MySQL and p2p.

And the second.

I wander around in a world of darkness where communication is restricted by ones and zeros, However there is something that saves me from the darkness, My DNS is my salvation, it comforts me, it shows me what I need to see, And without I would be nothing, just nothing,

See Also[edit]