User:Kelpan/Conservapedia

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Today's Featured Article

Homosexuality is sexual activity between members of the same sex.

Sexual relations between two men is condemned in both Old and New Testaments. It is forbidden directly four times in the Bible.

All references in Amplified Version

Old Testament

Leviticus 18:22 - You shall not lie with a man as with a woman; it is an abomination.
Leviticus 20:13 - If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

New Testament (Epistles)

1 Corinthians 6:9 - Do you not know that the unrighteous and the wrongdoers will not inherit or have any share in the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived (misled): neither the impure and immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor those who participate in homosexuality more

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Daily Bible Verse

“Upon seeing the Transfiguration of Jesus, John looked at Peter and said, "Shit just got real."”

~ Matthew 17:6

More...

Daily Historical Quote

“When the people find they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic. Especially if the Negroes are involved.”

~ Benjamin Franklin

Do You Believe?

...that if you've ever visited Wikipedia you're going to hell?

...that you probably are anyway?

...that this will result in an eternity of unimaginable pain?

...that God will send you there because He loves you?

...that only 4% of Americans are atheists, and everybody hates them?
...that -ology is a suffix derived from the latin word meaning "work of the devil"?
...that Jesus is coming back real soon?
...that the metric system is Socialism?
...that ignorance is strength?
...that Global Warming is a lie invented by people jealous of our nice big shiny cars?
...that FOX News is as true and unbiased as the Bible itself?
...that Americans are God's chosen people?
...that Catholics are Mary-worshipping heretics?
...that Muslims are even worse than Catholics?
...that Barack Obama is Muslim?
...that he was also behind 9-11?
...that he beats his children too?
...that dinosaurs were vegetarians back when they lived in the Garden of Eden?
...that scientists are liars?

...that they're all going to Hell, too! Ha ha ha ha ha!

In the News, what the lamestream media isn't fully covering.

More false trails left by God to test our faith have been found by God-hating, atheist "scientists" recently. That God of ours certainly is a tricksy one!

Roger Williams University forces students to watch Al Gore's movie in order to graduate! "[W]e should stop calling these schools 'bastions of knowledge' since they're really bastions of leftist thought," one student observed. [1].

Boy genius with Asperger's syndrome sets out to disprove the big bang theory. Further evidence that God's chosen disciples are mentally special. [2]

Today(ish) in History

October 23, 4004 BC

God creates the universe.

December 25, 0000 AD

Our Lord and Saviour Jesus is born.

April 33 AD

Jesus is murdered by liberals and ACLU-type jews, comes back to life. Explain that, godless scientists!

November 28, 1095 AD

First crusades launched. Many unbelievers ground beneath righteous boots. Amen.

July 4, 1776 AD

If you don't know why this date is significant, you're a Communist.

May 14, 1948 AD

God initiates first stage of the Apocalypse.

April 20, 1979

Jesus sends Easter Bunny after Jimmy Carter.

November 9, 1989 AD

Ronald Reagan gets tired of waiting, tears down the Berlin Wall himself with his bare, masculine hands.

January 15, 2001

Wikipedia literally emerges from the lowest pit of Hell.

September 11, 2001 AD

You ticked off the wrong country, mister.

March 19, 2003 AD

United States launches second glorious crusade against heathens.

January 20, 2009 AD

Lady Liberty is defiled by That One.

November 2010 AD

God smites American soldiers one by one in Iraq to punish America for doing nothing to stop evil gay communities spawning more and more gays.

April 1, 2011 AD

Unbelievers still burning in Hell. (pictured)

Today's Featured Picture

Get off the smack and get a job, you filthy hippie!

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