Bubs Concession Stand
Bubs is the handyman around the wonderful world of Homestar Runner. Without doubt, he is, by design, a fraud. But apparently nobody seems to give a dead moose's last shit and the other characters let Bubs swindle them out of countless amounts of money.
Said artifacts are kept hidden away within the catacombs within the stand that Bubs keeps watch over. Except when he isn't. During these times he ventures out to bestow his glory upon those who need it most, or whoever he happens to run into. He (supposedly) can fix anything, cars, TV's, marriages, as pointed out in his character video, a humble self-tribute to Bubs.
Bubs' true name[edit]
Bubs is known by all loving and true followers of his greed-driven self, as Bubs Concession Stand or Bubs C. Stand. When creating his shop, Bubs decided to name it after himself. Despite being teased in school about it. He decided to go for the gold and dub his store 'Bubs Concession Stand'.
Noble quests[edit]
Wise words[edit]
On one noble venture, the esteemed Bubs wandered across a hapless Strong Sad who was experiencing some difficulty ungluing his hands from his behind. The omnipitent and ever-vigilant Bubs then offered him a handy tidbit of wisdom. "Grabbin' your butt? That's not very ladylike." Deep. Very deep.
Relic creation[edit]
Another case of Bubs assisting mortals with everyday problems and earthly dilemma's involved a conundrum involving a difficulty setting the time on Strong Bad's VCR. In his infinite wisdom, Bubs taped an alarm clock to said VCR, thus solving the dilemma of lacking time. However, his works were impeded and he would have come up with a solution far greater had the Cheat not refused to offer himself up in place of the alarm clock. Some little yellow creatures just do not know how to submit to true authority and claim a place among the creations of divinity.
Liberation[edit]
Yet another occurnce happened in the very same garage that Bubs fixed Strong Bad's VCR within. Bubs assisted Strong Bad in opening a golden record case with his head, shattering the glass and freeing the contents trapped within.
Humble service[edit]
In another act of charity, Bubs alleiviates Strong Bad of a CD of 5,000 email adresses, and donates a large sum of money to the masked crusader, then, in yet another act of charity, he adds the misguided email adresses to his mailing 'spamertisement' list. A charity organization providing important information about consumable products that people with little or no information or awareness about receive entirely free of charge.
Enhanced android manufacture[edit]
Bubs also builds a robot of Strong Bad out of a box of Grape'n'nuts. It merely sits there and proclaims "Come back Alie... come back Alie's sister", Strong Bad is then overcome with awe, proclaiming the Bubs has truly created a perfect redition of him in robot form.
The world[edit]
Using the alias Dry Ragamoofin, he saved the world from the moist evils of his nemisis Damp Towelman by pushing the wet villain over the edge of a cliff. In a waterwheel. Filled with zombie lemmings.
Other beliefs[edit]
Sick and perverted infidels and skeptics alike are too stupid to conform with the commonly accepted knowledge of Bubs' divinity, and simple believe him to be a creepy orange blob who pawns items of insignificant value in a successful attempt to recurringly con his community. This however is rediculous.
Doubted wisdom[edit]
For instance, these lowly-thinking people claim that Bubs' advice for Strong Sad is utterly unhelpful and rediculous. They however, cannot accept that Bubs is of a higher level of thinking and wisdom that they cannot hope to understand.
Inefficiency[edit]
They also hold, that despite its effectiveness, taping an alarm clock to a VCR isn't nearly as efficient as simply setting the time. This article will not stoop to explaining why they are wrong.
Powerlessness[edit]
They also claim that he was a mere tool of an act of cruelty by Strong Bad when the record case was opened on his head. Oh ye of little faith. Can you not see that Bubs is capable of destroying his enemies with a mere flick of his will? If Strong Bad was foolish enough to attack Bubs, it would only be by the grace of the large orange ball of a God that he lived.
Exploitation[edit]
And in the lowest act of slander and outrage, these infidels openly accuse Bubs of illegally purchasing Email adresses in order to distribute a large number of 'spam advertisements' to unwilling users. For shame.
The Thnikkaman[edit]
Many infidels will claim that this is Bubs with a 'th' sticky-taped to his chest and some cool shades, they are pigs. With his catchy entrance and exit tunes which seem to be sung by a host of invisible voices, and his wise motto, "Yeah. shut up kids" it has been clear from the start that the Thnikkaman possess powers and wisdom that may almost rival Bubs himself. However, he is found lacking in a holy Concession Stand (Though he does have a Baloney Sandwich Truck) and in a sufficient history and tradition, his followers are also fleeting and consist of temporarily distracted disciples of Bubs. These points make him a mere passing and shallow fancy, like a harry potter to Bubs' lord of the rings or star wars.
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