Why?:Transform Your Room Into a Towel Castle?

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Arty notions (pictured) of bedrooms are overrated; better to stand out at any rate with your own. What could be better than a towel castle? We rest our case.

Dude, Towels at Wal-Mart? $1.50. That's right, one dollar and fucking fifty cents. That's ridiculous. So, like, if you brought $150 to Wal-Mart, you could buy 100 fucking towels. That's a lot of towels. If I worked at Wal-Mart, and a dude came in and bought a hundred towels, I would give him a fucking high five. That's so awesome.

There are just[edit]

way too many reasons why you should get down and do this shit. Think of all the damn benefits! Beds? Fuck that shit. You've got towels. You can sleep on towels. How awesome is that? Like, if you just took a shower, you don't even need a fucking towel! You can just go to bed. In a castle. Made of towels. Some random motherfucker comes in here, he gets a face full of towels.

You could totally[edit]

make like, art and shit. Decorations. You know. Like, you could frame towels and hang them up on the wall. That'd be pretty sweet. Or, like, you could make the towels spell things. Like your name. Or a dick. That'd be hilarious.

Dude, why the fuck[edit]

would you not want to do this? You could invite everyone over. Have a towel party. Put on some music, get some hot ladies...some towels, you know? That would be the shit.

So let's say[edit]

you get that towel castle. Or, the towels. Not in castle form yet. Not yet. Anyway, so you're wondering how to do it. Come on, let's get this shit done. First, fold all of your towels "hot-dog" style. Then fold those "hamburger-style". Then fold them out. Just do that for every towel you have. Next, stack one right next to your wall. Keep doing that until your whole wall is covered. Then keep adding layers, getting closer and closer to the middle of your room. And then -- oh. Oh god. Goddammit. It fell. Shit. That wasn't supposed to happen. Alright, let's try this again. Try laying them down in the middle of the room, and then start stacking. And move outwards instead of inwards. Fuck! Goddammit. The baby's crying. One second.................alright. I'm back. Did it work? Oh, fuck. Don't tell me it fell again. What the fuck did you do to it this time? Jesus Christ. Okay, maybe you should just try stacking them. It might be a little wobbly. You might fall. This is not working out the way I planned it. Alright, just do it house-of-cards style. That'll have to do for now.