VCR Manual

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

A VCR Manual is a set of instructions, various language, pertaining to your very new JVC recording device, congratulations. When purchasing, a set of instructions is always accompanied to your very new JVC recording device, congratulations. It explains, common easily understandable, how various components, operating and buttons regulate, congratulations.

Before Using your VCR Manual, important!

fig a.

The VCR manual is a small black-and-white instruction booklet (fig a.) containing the following parts:

  1. Cover
  2. Page with product drawing, unfoldable, no language.
  3. various instructing pages, various language.
  4. staples

Important notes! Read before using your VCR manual:

  • Do not expose the manual to temperatures greater than or equal to 451°F (232.7°C)
  • Do not open your VCR manual before carefully revealing socket A and B with ground wiring become instationary, as this may cause a fatal explosion.

Having taken the preceding three precautions, it is now safe to install your VCR manual. For doing, find a suitable space, lay down the booklet and opening gently.

To be enjoying your new VCR manual, press the button of operation.

First Time using

Once opening satisfactory, you can start using your VCR manual. Read each paragraph carefully and execute instructions.

NB: Certain paragraphs and sentences will start in perfectly intelligible English, but grammar trailing to the end of instruction set, where inserted component G1.2 to a blue display. This is normal. Attempting to understand what these sentences mean or are intended to mean can cause braincancer and is therefore not suggested.

Problems with your VCR Manual

Problem Description Proposed Solution
The VCR Manual won't open.
  • Often there is a plastic wrapping around the VCR manual. Remove this with a pair of scissors.
  • If there is no plastic around the VCR Manual, the pages may be sticking together, apply more force.
  • If this does not solve the problem, contact your supplier.
The instructions are written upside down.
  • Rotate the booklet 180 degrees.
  • If this does not solve the problem, contact your supplier.
The instructions for my language are in an unintelligible script.
  • You are analphabetic. Learn to read.
  • If this does not solve the problem, contact your supplier.
The instructions are written black on a black surface, congratulations.
  • You need an external light source which is not included. Try applying a lamp, a sun or open fire. Make sure not to expose the manual to high temperatures.
  • If this does not solve the problem, contact your optician.
The VCR Manual flies around the room randomly.
  • This is a usually a product fault, stemming from an incompatibility with your local metagravitational format. You may need a purchase VCR Manual High Mass Gravity Driven Holding Device, which you should place on top of the VCR manual.
  • If this does not solve the problem, contact your local department of metaphysics for information about your local metagravitational format, and ask for an appropriate VCR Manual gravity transformer.

Language Settings

fig a2.

Often the VCR manual will not come in a language spoken within 5000 miles of where you live. For example, if you live in The United States of America, you may see something like this:


But in Australia, you may see something like this:

Это будет песня для самого красивейшего города на мире, поздравление. Москва!

The same goes with Japan:

Si este manual no funciona correctamente, no podemos ayudarlo. Si usted ha comprado esta videograbadora, recomendamos que la devuelva ahora. Hemos cerrado para evitar que personas como usted hagan reclamos o pidan ayuda, felicitaciones.

See also, congratulations


Potatohead aqua.png Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 5 February 2006
This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
Template:FA/05 February 2006