If it is on the Internet it must be true
Who are you going to trust: this Uncyclopedia article, or your lying eyes?
This article is not true...so is it true, or is it not true? The legends are true. If anything is posted on the Internet, it must be true! Like a magical book that makes anything written in it come true, so is the Internet. Anything that someone posts to the Internet, instantly comes true. This is like having three wishes from a genie, only it is more like infinite wishes.
I'm very rich and happy with everything I always wanted... GODDAMNIT!
'Note:' Many people might be able to tell this proof is a load of crap. For a more complicated proof, go here.
As shown by the following equation:
Everything on the internets is true because the internet is seen by so many people. As more people peer review a document it becomes more accurate; so the internet is always approaching a state where nobody lies ever.
If everybody believes so, it is so. You can force deified views to become physically concrete just by saying so or writing it in a blog. It helps if one says it lots and lots and lots and lots of times, and if people agree with it lots and lots and lots of times. By asserting something as physically concrete, one can cause physical events, in the past, present and future to change according to how one defines it.
Example:[edit]
- The Bandwagon Diet
One can lose weight by polling the opinions of fellow bloggers. If enough people believe one has gained or lost weight, then, one's weight is physically altered. The Bandwagon Diet is widely believed to be more cost effective than the Atkins Diet and a monthly regime costs no more than a £24.99 DD from NTL.
This document proves itself. So there.
- Want a longer penis?? How's 12 feet sound? Click here to find out!
- Aliens are causing global warming!
- Al Gore sticks anal probes in a drunk farmers ass.
- That this is a serious website with hardhitting and truthful arguments.
- Fake Fundamentalist Rants about Atheist Churches are taken seriously even if the mention of an Atheist Church is an oxymoron showing the statement to be funny. Poe's Law proves that it is true.
- Another great urban myth is that trumpets can sound good. I know, crazy huh?
Critics[edit]
Some internet critics state that "Actually, anything that is posted in the internet is completely false...Except this critic...Well, I guess this critic is, too."
Ok, I'm very poor and will live a short painful life...
However, the internet being true is a huge lie, as is proven by the rule 'A guy in disguise unless proven otherwise'. Most girls who play games, watch Anime, watch porn or do anything like that on the internet are ACTUALLY guys posing. Simple way to prove this. Walk up to a female character in a internet game. Ask for 'her' to talk or send a pic or SOMETHING. They will run away from you, afraid of being found out. The original author of this author, SuperFreak is actually trying to cover up that she is actually a guy.
The New Zealand prime minister (of 2007) Helen Clarke is a frequent user of the rule 'If it is on the Internet it must be true', as she/he/it is a frequent perpetrator of being 'A guy in disguise unless proven otherwise'.