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Uncyclopedia running out of Interesting Stuff. UnSignpost in Jeopardy!
- By Qua
Recently. Uncyclopedia, in its maternal state. Is running out of interesting stuff as most users keep filling her with the same old stuff day after day. Most if not almost all of the staff at the UnSignpost panicked as this meant that their newspaper, which faced the threat of disabondement yesterday. Could be folded by the Uncyclopedia Cabal (there is no cabal) itself. Cajek, the UnSignpost's co-founder, commented on the shortage of interesting stuff saying "...". Mostly this is a time of crisis for the UnSignpost which has been falling into a state of crisis for a while now. and we need you to help. All you have to do is send money to the UnSignpost offices. And please, refer freinds to do the same please! We need it more then you.
Penis Man returns!
- By THEDUDEMAN
At exactly 12:29 AM Monday morning, some local idiot decided that it would be a great day to stir up drama and piss people off with some long forgotten shit. And with that, Penis Man made his way back to our great Uncyclopedia with the intent of vandalizing Boomer's userpage. Soon after, the Town drunk Eugene Kay decided to follow suit by uploading the same image by the name of Zombiepenis. Why he decided to make such an apparent strike at the admin who has beat him so much is currently unknown. We at UnSignpost give them both a 25000000:1 chance of being banned.
Local Uncyclopedian starts up Devil-Worship Wiki
- By Qua
In a recent devil-related press conference. Cartoon Diablo, the younger and sillier version of Diablo. Has started up The Devil's Wiki, a wiki dedicated to worship of Satanism and The Devil itself. In a recent interview, Cartoon Diablo has said personally that "The wiki's going to contain a lot about the devil, no seriously. There's going to be articles about the caverns of hell, the kind of foods the devil eats and also various artworks done by the Devil himself. And if your asking if it's going to be great. Well... Yeah!, It's going to be satantastic!". Immediately after this was posted on the UnSignpost, 2 people have joined the satanic wiki. The 2 people are described to be a Himilianian Yettie and an Male Amish Human. Both of them have pledged their allegiance to the devil in return for absolute power. In today's weather report, make sure to bring an umbrella as Hell may be raining over within the next few days.
Uncyclopedia's Reign of the Newbs Begins
- By Cajek and whoever else
Interestingly enough, lots of new noobs (and old noobs) are getting featured articles these days. Somehow, the cult of the newbs has awoken, and Uncyc has felt its presence link to Double Entendre. Oh... did I say that out loud?
"I don't trust the young 'uns," said Farmer O'Dell at his grain silo, "They write funny articles, yeah, but what do they contribute to the community?" Actually, writers like Hyperbole, Cheapinitreal, and The Woodburninator have stepped up, and are already commanders. Except that last one, who is close enough. Big time contributors like YesTimeToEdit, Qua, and Orian57 are cleaning up this pig sty. Older members of uncyc have become less active, and are paving the way for these rising stars to shine.
Uh, speaking as myself? I've never been more proud of Uncyclopedia than I have in the last month or so. Keep it up, guys!
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From our logs:
 - 00:29, THEDUDEMAN (Talk | contribs) (uploaded a new version of "Image:483922.jpg": <3 you Zombiebaron! )
- 20:10, 22 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 58.179.141.146 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite (No means *no*)
- 06:21, 22 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked .cx (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (Oh for fuck's sake)
- 05:30, 22 June 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Dunquin (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week (The Irishg defence forces are a bunch of wankers who were dominated by the brits who are even greater wankers. They eat potatos, drink guinness and fight imaginery wars)
- 03:42, 22 June 2008 Hindleyite (Talk | contribs) blocked 217.54.74.232 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (Welcome to the jungle, we've got fun and games. )
- 12:42, 21 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Page blanker (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (I wonder if you realize just how easy your name makes it for me to permaban you...)
- 07:26, 23 June 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs | block) blocked 124.170.144.245 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (You have been autoblocked by the Uncyclopedia penis-size-detector. Rylie, I'm afraid your penis is too small to edit Uncyclopedia. Please try again after puberty.)
- 08:48, 20 June 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked Bl4nker (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (LOL YOU BLANKED SOMETHING THAS SO FUNNIES. Now fuck off, eh?)
- 18:54 . . Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.231.38.117 with an expiry time of 1 week: (No, Pete Doherty is a talentless junkie cunt. Deal with it.)
- 14:59, June 25, 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked KBD5196 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (I hope this ban log gets featured in the UnSignpost. Also, you are a wanking blanker. Or a blanking wanker. Whichever.)
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| Gripe of the Week
MantiBot, Yes a bot, this bot has been going around causing terrorism to articles in the form of interlinking. Not only does he support terrorism, he also supports the de-opping of TheLedBalloon who has been known to hate every foreign country that's not America on the Planet. What's worse, he isn't even properly marked as a bot. FU Mantiwhore!
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| Quote of the Week:
"Listen, here's the story: The other night I saw Jackass the Movie 2 and they extracted sperm from a horse so one of the dudes could drink it. It was that moment when I realized how little I know about nature, or rather, animals and their private parts. You see, it turns out horsies have big ol' peepees, and the first picture I expertly designed was actually close to the reality, and I needed to start from scratch on a new picture. The result of that is what you see on the right, the one with the bigger censored penis." -So So
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