Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/aiden (band)
Aiden[edit]
FairyGarland 07:40, 22 April 2008 (UTC)
| Humour: | 6 | I can see you’ve tried. And some of the lines were very good. But you also included way too many useless and distracting ‘in-jokes’ (oscar wilde and kitten huffing especially) that you’ve probably seen around. These are clichés, please get rid.
In your table you have too much factual, unfunny information. I think it would be funny to say, just off handedly, that they started off in Christian rock (hence their connection with the pope) and maybe put something like “2003 – who?” to emphasise the unknown-ness of the band that you mention in the rest of the article. And for origins put either “unknown” or “Hell” just so it’s a bit less factual and more coherent with the rest of the article. |
| Concept: | 6 | Good enough concept, Band articles are pretty hard to pull off from what I gather but I think you’ve got a decent enough idea behind it. Them being affiliated with the pope I really liked as it was a good contrast (and the fact that John-Paul 2nd is actually dead made it slightly funnier (although I’m not entirely sure you meant it, no offence)). Also you got some good scandal in there and mentioned Christian zealots zealous enough to buy their album and listen to it backwards to find ‘the devil’ in it. You definitely had some good ideas but I think you could make the article a little more neutral in tone as your lurid fantasies about the band shine through (especially since you created an entire article on the lead singer). And it’s, again, a bit distracting. Maybe expand into the idea of their cult following and report about a mass suicide or something, a funny suicide though like death by cattle. or something, your ideas are probably better than mine. |
| Prose and formatting: | 6 | Some ugly formatting issues here. Firstly the random quote template is rarely a good idea, two of them are two bad ideas as the randomness can lead to stupidity not hilarity.
And your red links most could be made less red and more blue by following the instructions bellow. Also read this to pick up on other helpful stuff. Your actual writing, spelling and grammar ect are impressive though. Less for the poof readers to do. |
| Images: | 6 | I loved that one with the pope, that really made me laugh. The one of “typical aiden fan” was strange, but relevant enough to be effective but the one of their album art was just their actual album art and it was a bit ‘meh’ frankly. Put in an image request for some thing a bit more communist, like aiden ‘working the farm’, or something. |
| Miscellaneous: | 6 | (averaged your other scores.)
DYK that you can link to other articles without having exactly the right wording: Example [[south Africa|South African]] Will appear like this south African |
| Final Score: | 30 | hey i'm really sorry that it took me so long to get back to you with this, i normally do these in a day but i got distracted, forgot, remembered, remembered about important course nessascery homework, forgot and then rememberd while listening to Die Romantic. also creating a user page is a good way of becoming more involved in Uncyclopedia and it is just plain fun, maybe you should try it out (you've written loads of articles already and people tend to like to show of their work on a user page).
please feel free to vandalise my user page or leave angry messages on my talk page if you feel in some way cheeted. oh and the 6's were just coincidence. |
| Reviewer: | --orian57 01:24, 26 April 2008 (UTC) | |