Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Weegee

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Weegee

This was one my first pages. Me and my real life neighbor made this together. It was his first, and one of my firsts so this was a long time ago, so it may seem "noobish" at parts, i never bothered to edit it myself. Im that lazy. Thanks! Happymonkey39 Dah Meme Master 19:03, July 27, 2010 (UTC)

Mine. --Some Idiot 22:19, August 7, 2010 (UTC)

Humour:	6	The real problem with this article’s humor lies in the prose and formatting section, so here I’m just going to go through each section and tell you some ways to build and improve them. Introduction: A fellow Uncyclopedian once told me that an introduction needs three things: It needs to introduce the subject, contains humor and has to be at least a paragraph long. You half introduced the subject - you told us that this article is about Weegee but you don't actually tell us who Weegee IS. Explain further. Because of this, the introduction is very short, and is NOT a paragraph long. Your introduction contains humor but could include more once you've built on it. Maybe you should move most of the quotes to the quote section. Birth and Early Life: A bit random. Slow it down a bit. When you detail Weegee's two purposes, don't show them in dot points. It affects the flow of the article. Instead, detail his purposes in sentences. You may even want to create a whole new paragraph labeled 'The Purpose of Weegee' Beginning of the End: Argh, still written in a very rushed manner. Detail more about the Weegee virus and it's effect. What will happen in the Apocalypse? Locations of the Clones: How is Weegee different to the other clones? Maybe you could mention some places that have been majorly affected by Weegee clones? Abilities: Seems a good idea, let's see how well you go... The Stare: Yeah, pretty obvious. Bu why does he not stare forward? Strength: Maybe call this 'Superhuman Strength'. This is pretty short, go into detail more. Spaghetti: How does he get you to eat the Spaghetti? Invulnerability: This ability is similar to Grues. Does this mean they are related? Explain further into this trait. How did they get these powers? Lazar: Where did Weegee get his lazar? Stole it from a Star Wars ship? Explain further. Video Games: This part is rushed and hardly understandable. Slow it down and break it into more paragraphs. I'm sure you can add some better humor into this section now that you are a much better writer. Methods of Survival: Good, but the continuous problem with your rushed prose and bad spelling has ruined the effect here. Quotes: Yeah, good, but needs help with grammar. All those lists: Yes, a kind of conclusion that rounds off that Weegee is super powerful.
Concept:	6	Pretty strange concept but you really have milked out everything. There are few moments in which there are questions needed to be answered but I’ve detailed them in the humor section.
Prose and formatting:	2	This is the part that hurts your article the most, and in my view puts down the quality by a rather large distance. Spelling and Prose: Your style of prose is rushed and quick, with no breaks. You have to slow down and say everything clearer. This is especially bad when (no offence intended) your spelling and grammar is rather atrocious. Your spelling now is much better in your later articles, but I think you didn’t really pay attention to all this stuff before. I highly recommend the spelling help tag {{Proofread}} tag so people can proofread it. Or you could copy and then paste your article onto a Microsoft Word document and do a spell check. Formatting: I’m also sorry to say that your article doesn’t look very nice. Your pictures are all different sizes, some much too small. They are rather unevenly spaced. My advice: first, copy all your pictures onto a Word document and then take a look at your article without pictures. Then, try and make all the images around the same size (and don’t make them too small) and then evenly space them around your document. This will make the article look less cramped and improve it's general quality. If you do this stuff the quality of your article will drastically improve.
Images:	8.5	The main problem with your pictures is the stuff I have detailed above, but your pictures do need some funnier captions. You’ve got heaps of pictures, they don’t look badly photoshopped, but the captions still need some work.
Miscellaneous:	5.6	Averaged your scores.
Final Score:	28.1	So, the greatest problem is with the spelling, grammar and prose. But with these out of the way you can perfect your article and make it much better. I know this was your first article and I know you are a good enough writer to improve it. I hope that helped!
Reviewer:	--Some Idiot 04:07, August 8, 2010 (UTC)