Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/User:The UnIdiot/UnScript (RESUBMIT)

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UnScripts:Chex Mix Addiction: Volume 1[edit]

Want some ideas on how to touch it up before I shift it into mainspace. - UnIdiot | Talk? | Theme - 01:24, Jan 29

Moved to mainspace, still would like a review. - UnIdiot | Talk? | Theme - 02:14, Jan 31


Humour: 5.5 Two main problems:
  • Over-reliance on "FUUUUUUUCCCKKKKK YOOOOOOOOUUUU!"
  • Instead of starting with the guy already mildly addicted to Chex Mix, start the story with him as a completely innocent, picturesque clean-cut All-American football star who would never take drugs. It will make his slippery slope into addiction all the more hilarious.

Also no "ROFLMFAO" moments, but that's never necessary.

Concept: 7 There is something inherently funny about a harrowing addiction to a rather benign substance.
Prose and formatting: 7 An intro would be nice.
Images: 5 The images are adequate. Not amazing, not particularly original, but they work as illustration.
Miscellaneous: 6.125 Average'd
Final Score: 30.625 Decent, but could be improved.
Reviewer: -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 01:07, 25 February 2008 (UTC)
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