I don’t know if there’s something here or not. It feels like too much fluff, but just can’t decide if there’s merit in reworking.
The previous edit was by PuppyOnTheRadio (Talk). 09:07, June 6, 2018 (UTC)
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Added 09:07, June 6, 2018 (UTC)
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[[Template:Review request/{{#time: ymd|09:07, June 6, 2018 (UTC)]]
Reviewed[edit]
A little bit about the reviewer
How and why is it funny? Any suggestions?
{{{Hscore}}}
How good is an idea behind the article?
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How good does it look and how well does it read?
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How are the images? Are they relevant, with good quality and formatting?
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The article's overall quality - that indefinable something.
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An overall summation of the article.
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 DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 21:42, June 7, 2018 (UTC)
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The lyrics are a good spork, but maybe it could have more humor.
"Ziggy played guitar" in this part maybe tell who Weird and Gilly are. I know "He played it left hand" rhymes with "Ziggy's band," but I think rhymes are funnier if the odd word comes at the end. Maybe "He played it left-handed" rhyming with "Ziggy's band-ed."
"Ziggy really sang" this section is funny. I know he's light skinned so "Snow white tan" sounds like David Bowie. I like "screwed down hairdo" and a Japanese cat like Hello Kitty licking his fans by smiling.
"So where were the spiders" this part I believe you could improve. Flies can't crush balls, and I don't know what the crushed hand is about.
"Ziggy played for time" this is good, except I don't know what "voodoo" is about. And "nazz" seems like it's just used to make a rhyme, but I saw online it's a real band.
"Making love with his ego" I like that part. But I don't know what sucking up his mind has to do with leper messiah. And it doesn't explain who the kids are or who they killed.
"Oh yeah" is a good ending.
I'm not really sure who's talking after that. Are the comments by online posters, one person, two people, many people? Maybe that would make it funnier if we knew who was saying what.
Good luck! |
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{{{Yes}}}