Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Leprechaun

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Leprechaun

I created this for Conversation Week, but I finished it a bit late. Anyways, it's done now, please review. Oh, and a shout-out to Dame Sonje for providing the last picture. Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 02:05, 5 May 2009 (UTC)

Humour:	8	That was pretty good, Cheddar! That was an original, interesting direction to take an article in, and I found myself laughing quite a few times. I only have a few real quarrels: first, I wish you would put a few more punchlines in your links- those were funny towards the end. Second, the dates are unrealistic, and i'll get into that below.
Concept:	7	You've definitely got an original idea here-treating the Leprechaun as a government experiment is quite humorous. My problem is with the dates. Were there tape recorders in 1904? Color photos? I suggest changing the dates from "1904" to around "1991" and "1902" to 1989, or somesuch. Also, towards the end, you have a logical hole (this usually isn't an issue, but when you're writing an article in this style, it is)- you say that the document is to be burned in 1902. Then why is it not to be seen as of 1904? Forgive me for being nitpicky, but that stuff might bother a few readers.
Prose and formatting:	7.5	It's clear you spell checked this- no grammar or puncuation errors to speak off. However, you made a newbish mistake towards the end- a list. Basically, it's a list with some random numbers and some funny jokes. I suggest changing it to get rid of the statistics (yawn) and making the "Aftermath" section a paragraph about the formation of the Green Party.
Images:	9	I can tell Sonje helped you with this, because those images are phenominal. They fit into the article well, as do the captions. The only reason i'm not giving it a 10 is because of the second image, which is more creepy and disgusting than funny (call me paranoid, but it reminded me of the WTC jumpers on 9/11). You might want to change it- some Uncyclopedians might be turned off by the gore.
Miscellaneous:	8.5	My overall grade of the article.
Final Score:	40	You did a good job, Cheddar- with the finest of fine tuning, this will land on the front page. As I said before, here are some things you can do to improve it- first, either change the last section to a paragraph or get rid of it altogether. Second, make the dates more realistic. An optional suggestion is to change the second image- it might creep some people out. Overall, great article, after a few more screws are tightened, you've got my vote on VFH! =)
Reviewer:	Saberwolf116 12:32, 5 May 2009 (UTC)