Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Grand Admiral Thrawn

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Grand Admiral Thrawn[edit]

Some old dude (talk) 00:09, October 18, 2018 (UTC)

Added 00:09, October 18, 2018 (UTC)

[[Template:Review request/{{#time: ymd|00:09, October 18, 2018 (UTC)]]

This is my first article, so sorry if it’s not very good :(

Reviewed[edit]

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--Nigel Scribbler sig2.png (talk) 03:57, October 25, 2018 (UTC)
The usual reviewers must be out LARPing or something. Or they're just afraid of Grand Admiral Thrawn.

First, you need to add a general opening line or paragraph at the very top. "Grand Admiral Thrawn is a character on the Imperial side in the Star Wars universe", or something very basic like that.

You probably should decide whether you're going to write about the character only or about Zahn writing about the character. At least, try not to jump back and forth so much.

The next thing is: more. There have been multiple books, etc. so I think there's more that can be written. It does not have to be massive, but this does feel a bit light. You can expand out the plot of the first novel, maybe. Everything doesn't have to be canon, either, but things can work well if you can riff off of canon. So, if you decide on emphasizing the character, you can maybe add made-up history and a back story.

No apologies needed; it's pretty decent for a first effort. You do need to run it through spell and grammar check. For example, note that in the 2nd sentence you say "he", meaning Zahn, which is not clear.
This was a Pee Review by --Nigel Scribbler sig2.png (talk) 03:57, October 25, 2018 (UTC)


Thank you. I will make sure to keep this in consideration as I revise the article. :)

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