Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Davey Bee

Just wondering what you think about the article. Funny, or too serious? Thanks. =]

Humour:	5	It seems a bit inside, and the humo(u)r tries too hard to come from generic sources. By this, I mean it relies too much on placing random ideas in the article and not really expanding upon them (like the whole "Shakira told George Clooney told..." thing). It's like the criticism some people have about Family Guy. If you wish to keep these things in here, you need to expand upon them and make them more complete, not just place them and leave them at that. Also, just putting in random song titles that may get a quick chuckle don't work either. I wish I knew how to explain these things better. Perhaps check the article Zombie Abe Lincoln to understand my criticism better.
Concept:	5	Again, it's just too inside and the humo(u)r is too incomplete.
Prose and formatting:	6	It's OK. All the paragraphs are too short, making it seem too fractured.
Images:	4	Only the picture of the lady's head with the bodybuilder's body seems funny. The others don't seem to serve much purpose and don't add to the comedy. I would replace these.
Miscellaneous:	6	Don't know what to write here.
Final Score:	26	This article is going to require a LOT of work to make it better. There seems to be a big problem with inside humo(u)r here, and not many people are going to understand what it is about. It's going to be difficult to improve it in this context unless you do it in a way that many people can relate and understand.
Reviewer:	--Mr.Vib 14:05, 15 June 2007 (UTC)

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