Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Canadian Idiot

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Canadian Idiot

Canadian Idiot Legolas 11 August 10 2009 (UTC)

You should sign, you know. zh/SG/14:14 August 10

I'll gladly take this one, if Legolas doesn't mind --El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 15:47, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

Humour:	4.5	Sorry, but this takes a massive knock because of the concept being slightly disappointing to me after thinking it would be a Canadian response to American Idiot. As it is, no jokes really reflect on Canada at all and, although there are some good laughs in there, it's just not consistent enough. Since it's evident you are doing a direct satire of American Idiot therefore, I shall concentrate solely on that. I like the intro sentence (but it the Canada thing detracts a little, if it were a straightforward satire it would be a great introduction) and the first track synopsis doesn't seem so funny to me (except the Canada line), it seems to contradict itself a little in the introduction and then seems a little incoherent after this. Try to analyse some lyrics (do this for all the songs) and relate them to the angle you are taking in writing the article (whether it be a satire of the album, or a satire of fanboys, or whatever). Same for the second one, but the third is better, bringing in a neat cultural observation (possibly relate it more to anglophilia if you can, or yankophobia). I like the fourth one, nice sharp recurring joke emerging here and a subtle title change, perhaps you could use this approach more too? I would get rid of the "having sex" line and either go absurd with it ("suspected he was being molested by coked-up ferrets" or something) or try and make the "aaaaah aaaah" into a satirical joke that relates more to whatever angle you choose to take. The line about St. Jimmy is very funny (about what it is to be badass in the mainstream), so try and use this kind of approach more often too, but Give me Morphine is just far too random. Try reading HTBFANJS for tips on being funny rather than silly. Sadly the rest of the album section follows in much the same nonsensical manner, but the Confusion section is something you might want to keep in, albeit reworded.
Concept:	6.5	The concept is a neat one and throws up plenty of opportunities for humour. Unfortunately I feel you miss out on the comedy gold opportunity that is reapplying the American Idiot album to Canadian stereotypes and instead have just renamed the title of the article without changing the concept along with it. You should make it clear that this album is different to American Idiot and then precede to rip Canada to shreds with your rapier wit. Or just be gentle, it's up to you, the point is, replace everything that is American in the original with something Canadian in the second. Alternatively, stick to "American Idiot" and satirise the real album, but you must stick to one or the other. Finally, you end up saying things about how great the album is, this would work far better if you had a real fanboy tone throughout, which is another way of approaching it.
Prose and formatting:	5	The formatting is very good for the first half. The latter seems a bit messy and I feel you should definitely try to assert some authority over it so it seems a little less chaotic. Try having a clear structure whereby the final section is devoted to "Release and Reception" and have a long introduction to the album at the beginning. Also, your sentences are often too long and English difficult to follow due to grammatical and spelling mistakes, try to address this and it might make the humour shine through more.
Images:	7	The images you have are very good, however I would change how you use them depending on what approach you decide to take. If you continue doing a direct satire of "American Idiot", I would advise creating a new section called "New Idiots" where you include some spinoffs and special editions. Here you can include the Canadian Idiot and Wikipedian Idiot (and whatever other idiots you want to). I would also add a pic of the band looking very dull or retarded, just to liven things up a little. If you decide to translate American Idiot -> Canadian Idiot as a satire on the Canadians I would get rid of the Wikipedia picture and insert some more generically Canadian things next to the tracks that will reflect whatever it is you decide to mock the Canadians about.
Miscellaneous:	6	Nothing to say here, just averaged the scores so far.
Final Score:	29	OK so you have two clear paths you can take here. The first is to do a straight out satire of American Idiot, which would be more based around real-life - the band, the fans, the actual album, America - and would need to be a bit sharper and more focused. The second is to translate the album into Canadian (metaphor) and try a completely new approach which allows you to use your imagination more and create the Canadian equivalent of the band and so forth... Either way you should have fun, it's a good concept and there's plenty of material to work with. Good luck :)
Reviewer:	--El Sid, the lazy one • parlez-vous franglais? 20:26, 10 August 2009 (UTC)