Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/June 8

June 8: Be Suspicious of Your Friends and Co-Workers (They're Trying to Kill You) Day

• 1210 - Rain is discovered by Vatican scientists.
• 1213 - The Vatican, under Pope Innocent III, creates purgatory.
• 1312 - King Edward II became the first man to successfully grow a goatee beard.
• 1798 - North Dakota moves to its present location from beside the River Thames.
• 1861 - Tennessee secedes from the Union. Nissan decides it will build its plant there after all.
• 1900 - Hitler's moustache is born.
• 1901 - The Queen of the United Kingdom, Empress of Canada, Grand Sheila of Australia, Most Merciful Pasha of Yorkshire, is expelled from her mother's uterus into the world.
• 1949 - 35 years after starting it, George Orwell finally completes his futuristic novel Nineteen Fourty-Four.
• 1963 - Doctor What changes his name to Doctor Who.
• 1969 - Bill Clinton fails to inhale.
• 1979 - Mel Gibson speaks in enhanced Aussie accent after discovering he was born in Peekskill, New York.
• 1983 - The United States Government collapses then reforms in a period of twelve hours. No one notices because a cute kitten is born on TV.
• 2011 - You read this. You wished you had not bothered. You take a sip of tea and note a slightly odd taste. Distracted, you reread this line, except now it is dated 2011.