Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/December 15

December 15: Hooker Appreciation Day (Canada, pictured), Small Donga Day (USA Whites only)

• 1200 BCE - "Oh my god! I love those boots! Where did you get them? I have to get a pair!"
• 1485 - The Renaissance man is created when Leonardo Da Vinci gets pissed off at all those damned deadlines set by everyone. Tell your local polymath to calm down, nobody wants another one of these things roaming the earth.
• 1698 - New Björk City is founded by the Swedish chef going "björk björk björk" one too many times, making the local Indians move as far way as possible.
• 1805 - Lewis and Clark buy a hooked rug from a Canadian hooker.
• 1969 - In response to the San Francisco Exhibition Incident of 1969, the United Nations imposes a world-wide ban on suicide by pointless drivel, the only death penalty enforced by the UN.
• 1978 - Massive grease fire at the Grease Hut burns on for hours. The little boy who lives down the street falls into it and is incinerated, while the management feels just awful about it.
• 1993 - Scotland invades Europe: first use of the Haggis Device. Mass confusion follows as the Haggis Device is powered by a kilt-wearin' mofo.
• 1998 - Shia LaBeouf proves that neither good looks nor acting talent is a requirement in movies or TV.
• 2005 - Stan formed, ruled by Stan in the Empire of Stan.
• 2005 - Roughly estimated to be the founding of the NeoIlluminati. Due to temporal manipulation technology, the date could be off as much as 400 eons, 356 years, 11 months, 43 weeks, 3 days, 2 hours, 55 minutes, 34 seconds, and 2 picoseconds.
• 2007 - The end of the world at midnight in New Mexico. Michael Travesser and his cult commit mass suicide, probably, or something. People discover that he had sex with little girls and loads of married women, yet it's all about his sacrifice, isn't it?