UnTunes:The Dragon Warrior rap

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Descendant of Erdrick, yo, listen to my words
For yo ancestor saved our little world
In da ages past, using da Ball of Light
Till the Dragonlord took it, and sunk us all in blight!
It is now yo job, to go get it back
Even if it means giving the Dragonlord a whack
Or being whacked in return, I don't know
Just don't be a pussy, get set go!


But what can I use?
Look at da treasure chests
Take whateva u may need
To aid thee in thy quest
Though as yo friend
As as the holy King
I must warn you, man
That they're full of utter shit!


Whatthefuck is this? Gimme a bloody sword!
I cannot fight dragons using just a fucking torch!
That's your problem, Holmes, I gave what I can
Now get outta here, and fight like a man!


There's a shoppe in Breconnary, maybe it has what I need
Hello, dear customer! How can I help thee?
I'm here to go load up on weapons and shit....
I'm sorry, but u can only afford this bamboo stick


O Holy holy holy crap, 'tis a giant pile of Slime
I was stepping out of town, now I'm caught up in a bind
Tried to poke it with my stick, but no damage was done
Instead the smiling drop attacked me, and reduced my hit by 1!


Yo, I'm the Dragonlord, the king of kings
I breathe fire that melts stone
I got scales made of steel
Dear Dragon Warrior, I been expecting thee
What sayest thou, will you share with me
Half of the dark empire that's soon to come?
Hell yes, Dragonlord, these people are fools!
They send a single guy to fight you, when they should send in the troops
I cannot take the hard way, not anymore
Let's be Dark Emperors, for evermore!