Puzzle Potato Dry Brush.png
UnNews Logo Potato1.png

Welcome to the Mother Ship of amateur comedy writing! (Amateur means we don't pay you to do it.)

This is where the original Uncyclopedia wound up. You might as well pick a user name. We have no "partners" that want to sell you stuff. Giving your email simply lets you recover your password; we don't send spam. Uncyclopedians get a talk page, private edit area, and a welcome, maybe, if you actually edit; and we won't de-platform you for your views, if they're funny.


UnTunes:Folk Guitarist's Lament

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Main Page Playlist Requests Artists Support Sing My Song Random

Audiobang.jpg PLAY>MP3

This song has gone through every guitarist's mind at one point or another. Except for the whole penis thing. Hopefully.

Lyrics[edit]

Lament.png

I wanted to do everything
But I'm not good at anything
So I became a folk guitarist

I sing and sing and sing and sing
And sing and sing and sing and sing
But I'm no good at writing lyrics

If I could only find a band
And maybe a new set of hands
I'd have this whole music thing down

And if I could get some new gear
And just in case, a new pair of ears
I could make some semi-decent music

Life sucks, when you haven't got any money...or any talent
It sucks, when you haven't got a clue...(talent helps too)
If only I could find - The muse hiding inside
If I could only play a song - That I knew how to sing along to
I'd really have it made

I wanted to perform today
But I've got no good songs to play
So I sat home and ate some Cheez-its

Other guys, they get onstage
Their two-chord show is all the rage
I'm pretty sure they're getting laid, while I eat Cheez-its

I can't say I get many chicks
My guitar's the only thing my dick
Has seen in ages... Don't ask

But maybe I'll write one new song
Maybe everyone will sing along
While I play alone inside my basement

Life sucks, when you're stuck at home in your basement...(with no talent)
It sucks, when you seem to have run out of cheez-its...(as well as talent)
If only I could find - The muse hiding inside
If I could only play a song - That I knew how to sing along to
I'd really have it made

I finally got a gig today
And when I got onstage to play
I got tomatoes thrown right at me

I know what some of you might say
You think it sounds a bit cliche
But I'm not lying. They threw them right at me

Why would I say such a thing
If it was not happening
It's not like I take pride in my injury

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention
They hit me in a place unmentioned
And that small fact is why I mentioned, an injury

Life sucks, when you're dick is in a sling...(so's my career)
It sucks, when I can't even fuck my guitar...(once again, don't ask)
I guess I'll never find - the muse hiding inside
I guess I'll never play a song - That everyone will sing along to