UnTunes:AstroGlide Jam

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AStroGlide Jam was a 1976 single by the Danish heavy metal band Acetic Acid. Its b-side was Hey, hoe! Let's blow!. The band members' obsessions with bed-wetting and senility ultimately cost them the mainstream popularity they desired.

Waking up in the hospital not knowing where I am,
Not even sure what's edible and mistaking AstroGlide for jam.
I'm a-leavin' my dentures in the dog's food bowl and not knowing where they are!
I'm going to the store to buy adult diapers and leaving my keys in the car!
I'm lookin' around and wondering why my medicinal marijuana's gone,
that stuff is the only thing that keeps away the magic squirrels this nut has drawn.
Son, we're putting you in a retirement home because you're unsightly and you're old,
and you'll be eating drywall and asbestos because we can't pay your weight in gold!
Well, Dad, you're ugly and you're wife's a whore
In fact, I only had you so I could sell your organs to the store
Sometimes I'm not even sure I know who I am,'
but all I know is that this AstroGlide makes a tasty jam!
I'm looking 'round and I see a visitor,
but I don't know whether it's my granddaughter or a prostitute for sure!
When I was little, I learned not to wet the bed
but now that I'm hooked up to dialysis, it's all right instead!
Hey, hoe! Let's blow!
Hey, hoe! Let's blow!
Hey, hoe! Let's blow!
Smokin' from my crack pipe
Downin' five gallons of white wine
Grindin' on her behind
STDs on her backseat
What the hell's that fungus on her left teat
Hey, hoe! Let's blow!
Shootin' her in the back now
Fleein' from the crime scene
Hey, hoe! What you want, I don't know,
but I'm not shelling out $50 because I don't have the dough!
Ashes on my butthair
Flames beginning to char there
Holy crap my ass is on fire
I'm fleein' the crime scene naked, what a quagmire
Hey, hoe! Let's go!
Hey, hoe! Let's go!