UnTunes:AstroGlide Jam

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AStroGlide Jam was a 1976 single by the Danish heavy metal band Acetic Acid. Its b-side was Hey, hoe! Let's blow!. The band members' obsessions with bed-wetting and senility ultimately cost them the mainstream popularity they desired.

Waking up in the hospital not knowing where I am,

Not even sure what's edible and mistaking AstroGlide for jam.

I'm a-leavin' my dentures in the dog's food bowl and not knowing where they are!

I'm going to the store to buy adult diapers and leaving my keys in the car!

I'm lookin' around and wondering why my medicinal marijuana's gone,

that stuff is the only thing that keeps away the magic squirrels this nut has drawn.

Son, we're putting you in a retirement home because you're unsightly and you're old,

and you'll be eating drywall and asbestos because we can't pay your weight in gold!

Well, Dad, you're ugly and you're wife's a whore

In fact, I only had you so I could sell your organs to the store

Sometimes I'm not even sure I know who I am,'

but all I know is that this AstroGlide makes a tasty jam!

I'm looking 'round and I see a visitor,

but I don't know whether it's my granddaughter or a prostitute for sure!

When I was little, I learned not to wet the bed

but now that I'm hooked up to dialysis, it's all right instead!

Hey, hoe! Let's blow!

Hey, hoe! Let's blow!

Hey, hoe! Let's blow!

Smokin' from my crack pipe

Downin' five gallons of white wine

Grindin' on her behind

STDs on her backseat

What the hell's that fungus on her left teat

Hey, hoe! Let's blow!

Shootin' her in the back now

Fleein' from the crime scene

Hey, hoe! What you want, I don't know,

but I'm not shelling out $50 because I don't have the dough!

Ashes on my butthair

Flames beginning to char there

Holy crap my ass is on fire

I'm fleein' the crime scene naked, what a quagmire

Hey, hoe! Let's go!

Hey, hoe! Let's go!