UnResumes:My Resume
“You are reading the cover letter of my resume.”
“If you don't hire this guy, you're gayer than me!”
Sup Dawg:
The receptionist position is the posting I'm writing to apply for. I believe I would be uniquely qualified for this position because I am good with people I post many welcome templates on the userpages of IPs, which is kind of the same thing. I give them a "reception." See what I did there?
Although there are obvious gaps in my employment and education history, I think my userpage stands for itself. I have been honored with SotM, UGotM, and I was runner-up NotM in January 2007. Fully 41% of my mainspace edits have not been reverted or VFD'ed.
Basically, as I understand it, all a receptionist does is sit behind a desk and eat chicken, and I assure you that I am very good at those things. I also have extensive experience with phones as a result of making calls with my IRC friends wherein we inquire whether their refrigerator is running.
Please give me a job, because right now my only source of income is asking people for their PLS prize. Do it, or I'll roundhouse kick you into the sun! That was just a little Chuck Norris joke, there. Everyone loves those.
Yours sincerely,
<insert name here>
See Also[edit]
Objective: Dedicated professional with exceptional customer service utilization for exciting new comprehensive strategies and solutions seeks dynamic and rewarding long-term corporate paradigm for optimizing methods of business paradigm conceptually.
Work Experience:
- Wendy's: April 2002
- Customer service associate
- Job duties included register, food preparation. Left position to pursue opportunity to not have a cocksucker manager.
- Reno Homeless Shelter: 2004-2005
- Recycling coordinator
- Exciting eco-conscious position involved collection of large quantities of aluminum and redemption for change. Left position after two years due to differences of opinion regarding savage stabbing.
Education:
- Jesse Beck Elementary School: 1982-1987
- Successfully completed grades 1-5. Received several Outstanding grades in Citizenship.
Computer skills:
- Typing: Can type 90 WPM with 14% accuracy
- Shooping: SHOOP DA WOOP
- 1337 skillz: not so much
Uncyclopedia articles:
- I have contributed to several outstanding, high-quality Uncyclopedia articles, including:
References:
For references, please contact:
- User:Sockpuppet of an unregistered user
- User:Mnbvcxz
- User:YesTimeToEdit
- Please do not contact User:MrN9000, as he is a gay nigger who is always deleting my articles.