UnNews talk:America to ban Aussie slang

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Moved from User talk:Spike

G'day Spike mate, I have recently just done (another) UnNews. Can you do your famous "copy-edit", and also feel free to add your own stuff into it (aslong as its funny, of course), or you could just re-write it....
Thanks, OnePunch Talk to me 00:26, 4 January 2022 (UTC)
P.S. Just listened to your Trump makes more "conditional" endorsements UnNews Audio - it was very nice. OnePunch Talk to me 00:36, 4 January 2022 (UTC)

So, my edits:
  • Again, in datelines, the reader is assumed to know where Michigan (Queensland, Ontario, Berkshire) is. Capitalize city name.
  • Piped link to Michigan Technological University is my article about a remote school in Upper Michigan.
  • "according to Americans" does not describe drama in the story but puts drama between you and the reader.
  • Description of the term in question is too chatty and presumes a level of knowledge that is likely but not guaranteed.
  • (Added) "Mate" is not used by Yanks and seems gay to us.
  • (Problem) US universities are nearly all extreme left, do not think the US is all that great, and like gay stuff.
  • (Problem) Some of the other phrases in your list don't seem Australian. Biden spokeswoman Jen Psaki famously promises to "circle back" (get the real answers for the journalists).
  • (Problem) Left unclear, if there were a need to start a petition, why Biden is already taking up the students' gripe. Spıke 🎙️00:53 4-Jan-22
  • One more: The assertion that the use of the phrase occurred inside a joke is unnecessary and the reader will wonder, "What was the joke, then?" Spıke 🎙️00:59 4-Jan-22

To adress your Problem #2, in the original news article, the US university is attempting to ban phrases from all countries, not just Australia. I will change this when I add to it to adress your other points. Thanks for the feedback and I will improve upon the UnNews. Thanks again (and for your copy-edit), OnePunch Talk to me 01:01, 4 January 2022 (UTC)

Alright, I have believe I have fixed some of your problems. What do you think of it now? Thanks, OnePunch Talk to me 01:23, 4 January 2022 (UTC)

The narration[edit]

OnePunch, a marvelous job of assembling the tools and cobbling together an UnNews Audio! You did fine at keeping some of the common stuff but putting your own touch on it. Now, I have no problem with your accent, but I had major problems understanding what you were saying even though I had the "script"! Did you race through this narration as a form of intentional irony? Spıke 🎙️10:12 4-Jan-22

Yes you are correct. If you noticed, it starts off rushed, slows down a bit and then for the final paragraph, I did it in softer tone - all for comedic irony and to piss off the listener, as evident by my outro... No seriously, it was a joke. My accent was just an added benefit. OnePunch Talk to me 10:55, 4 January 2022 (UTC)

True, it was relatively easy making out the middle part. But as I sometimes say, bad writing (or narration) for effect is, first and foremost, bad. We are here to amuse the audience, not amuse ourselves by "piss[ing] off the listener." Spıke 🎙️10:59 4-Jan-22

Noted. I'll keep that in mind next time I do a narration of the UnNews (or if I do it again). Thanks for your feedback. OnePunch Talk to me 11:04, 4 January 2022 (UTC)
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