UnBooks:If We All Vote For Each Other, Then Everybody Wins: A Communist's Guide to Democracy
The multi-awarded, world famous and renowned UnBook "If We All Vote For Each Other, Then Everybody Wins: A Communist's Guide to Democracy" is a best-seller conjunctive written by Russian emigres in America, where none of the authors were giving extra credit (which is undeserved and a sign that Russia has become, in many ways, like capitalistic corrupt America, where CEOs are overpaid and nobody appreciates the work of the working class. Long live Lenin!)
The book has many maxims and rules which illustrate the spirit of communism, harnessing the will of the people in the western democracies, torn by corruption and McDonald's:
“If we all vote for each other, and nobody votes for somebody else, we will all get a vote”
“In Soviet Russia, leader elects YOU!!”
“Those motherfucking, cunt-licking, shit-eating, piss-drinking, tit-sucking, fucking cocksuckers keep making up quotes that I never said, and I'm fucking sick of it.”
“In capitalism man exploits man. In communism, it is the other way round”
If everybody gets a vote, all people will be happy. When all people are happy, people drink more Vodka. Vodka export is good for Russia (O Mother Russia!). Putin will then be happy and not kill ex-KGB spies living in London. Besides, getting a vote would raise the morale of the populace. When the girl next door votes for you, you know you're not a waste of space. And when you vote for yourself, you know you ain't got any friends. Or that you are an individualistic bitch that only cares for himself and should go to the United Spades of America to go and make some money.
People have constantly pointed out that the cover of the book is rather provocative and controversial.
Others have cited that if everybody gets a vote, then no president or leader could arise. This could be solved by establishing the mainstream communist tyranny and rule of the bureaucracy, so nobody would complain. George Bush has taught us that it isn't necessary to get the popular vote to force yourself into government.
Lessons Of Communism
Okay, young communist! You're young, you're strong, you'll fight, we'll see. You have abandoned the communist haven, where all's safe and you get free Lucky Charms from the government. Your cowardice has no limits, but as you'll learn by reading this, neither does America's coveting and infinite possibilities of achieving insulting wealth.
- Rule 1
Always do the opposite of what the corrupt western leaders do. If Tony Blair falls off a cliff, you should be propelled to the sky.
- Rule 2
When we say "good of the people", we may or may not mean that. Sure, we give out health care like candy, but we tend to overwork our populace- *ahem*, sorry, I meant to say that we give them good jobs as well.
- Rule 3
Give your people an incentive. If they have an income lower than the average unemployed Cambodian, give them some Rubles or a job in the mines. If people are still hitching rides on passing cows, build a few subways. If a tyrant leader is holding the country beneath his/her foot, kill him and step on yourself!