UnBooks:Choose Your Own Adventure:One Ordinary Day/OfferHelp

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You smartly think of robbing banks with guns.

"Wait a second fellows!" you scream as the man known as Larry comes towards you. "You don't need to kill me or nuthin'. I won't squeal, I'll even help you guys out."

"You want to help us...perform the act of bank robbery?" Johnny asks, not believing you.

"Oh sure," you answer him. "Bank robbery is one of my favorite hobbies ever. I remember those cold autum days I used to go out with my friends after school just to rob a bank or two during our free time. That's when robbing banks was more pure, more innocent. I miss those days greatly."

"Hmmm... Well, we do need a fourth after Snakes had his, ah, 'accident'," Johnny mentions.

"I dunno about this Johnny," Larry shouts back. "I don't trust this kid. Don't look like no bank robber to me. We gotta make sure."

"Then make sure already, ya dummy!" Johhny shouts back.

"Alright, alright, I'm-a-makin'. I'm-a-makin'. Ok kid, if you're such a hotshot bank robber, robbing banks all the time like you say, what did you use to rob these places. What kind of equiptment you hauling?"

"......Um...... Guns?" you feebly ask back to Larry. There is a short pause, as Larry just stares at you.

"Alright Johnny, the kid checks out. Knows the inner workings of bank robbery like Old Mr. McHiggins knows big, fat, juicy suckers.[1] Lets get on with the plan then."

"Finally. Took you long enough you idiot," Johnny starts. "Now the plan is to hit New Seattle Bank of Extra Money this afternoon. Janey is already there, working the place.[2] Now, we'll take the van over there, and all rush in with guns. Janey should have the manager unconcious, and stolen his key and safe numbers. Me, Larry, and Janey will enter the vault and start putting money into the bags. Meanwhile, kid, you get the extremely easy job of positioning yourself in between the three of us and a window, making sure to make your gun prominent to everyone outside at all times. Then, between three and four of us run out of the bank, and to the van. If the kid hasn't abbandoned us yet, you make sure to keep in between us and the police, even pointing the gun in the pigs' direction whenever possible, ensuring our escape. I call it Operation 'Red Mist'. It's Foolproof! Any questions?"

"None from me," Larry pipes up.

"Sounds great to me too! I get a share of our money, right?" you ask to Johnny.

"You get a small share."

"W-H-O-W!" you say, impressed with your prominent place in the robber higherarchy. "Lets do this!"

"Agreed," Johnny agrees with you.

You all get in the van, and Larry drives the three of you there. You are a little nervous, but Johnny assures you of the plan's success. And succeed the plan does. Unfortunately, you didn't really realize that the plans success banked on the fact that you were a meat sheild for the other three during the entire thing. Seriously, you didn't figure that out with the whole, Operation'Red Mist' thing?[3] That's your own fault.

You Are Dead
  1. If this doesn't make any sense to you....CONGRATULATIONS!
  2. At this point in time, it is necessary that the reader completely forgets about the fact that Johnnie and Larry were arguing about which bank to hit just minutes ago. Please perform this task.....now. Thank you.
  3. What do you mean I didn't give you the option to do anything about this? Shut up.