Top Ten Numbers between One and Ten

“Sounds like a good idea for a programme”

~ Channel 4

“I love the blueberry one the best”

~ Oscar Wilde on Pi

10) Ten

Oh yes, this is one of the greatest of the numbers between 1-10. Ignoring the fact that there isn't actually anything that comes before it, we can see the elequent body of the number manifest itself in an ever-increasing list of areas in modern life, all the way from top ten lists on Channel 4 to more mundane tasks such as thick people using ten digits on the fingers to count.

9) Nine

Ah, Nine. The thinking man's number. Of course, as any budding mathematicians will know (or indeed anyone who has done more than one year at primary school), Nine is a square number. Herein lies it's genius: it doesn't look square. See: 9. It cunningly disguises itself by looking like a Nine. And this of course makes it the very epitome of coolness; everyone knows it's a square number but it doesn't feel the need to boast about it.

Nine was sadly murdered last year in what appeared to be a cannibalistic ritual, when, if the rumours are to be believed, Seven ate Nine. Many people believe that if it were not for this boost in it's popularity as a result of this, it would not be included in this list. Of course, this is rubbish. Nine is included in this list otherwise I wouldn't be able to fill it with ten numbers.

8) Six

A sixy little number this one. Lots of six appeal. It's like the cool intellectual calmness of 9 turned upside down, although they make a rather nice couple. One of the most desirable numbers, as according to numourous surveys, lots of people want to have Six. This justifies it's inclusion in this list, funnily enough, at number eight.

7) Seven

It would probably be unwise to mess with Seven. There are many allegations surrounding Seven, most notably the accusation that he is a cannibal. It alleged that last year, following a drunken row, Seven ate Nine, although we can't go into too much detail as the trial is pending. Over the years, there have also been many allegations concerning Seven's supposed murderous tendencies, such as it's penchant for punishing people who break mirrors. Both of these factors have been crucial in fuelling Seven's notoriety; though neither as much as the Death Metal band S Club 7 naming themselves after this, the most notorious of numbers between one and ten.

6) El Diablo (aka Eight)

Eight is the hardman of numbers. It doesn't seem it of course, it just looks like two zeros and two zeros normally equals zero. But Eight's hardness scared off the rules of arithmetic. Proof that Eight really is the hardman of numbers is to be found by the fact that Cockneys use it as slang for hate; as in "I Eight you".

5) Five

An odd number, Five. Five has overcome a lot of personal setbacks in the past few years, most notably when it's identity was stolen by a boyband. Other people claim that Five is Ten's new identity and that he is only half the man he used to be.

4) Four

What can be said of Four? It frequently fails to even come third and always just misses getting Bronze in many competitions, let alone get Silver or Gold. Thus, although it is a consistently excellent number, it fails to get the recognition it deserves. Thus it's inclusion in this list is indicative of the British public's love for the underdog.

π) Pi

3.1415926535 

8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679 8214808651 3282306647 0938446095 5058223172 5359408128 4811174502 8410270193 8521105559 6446229489 5493038196 4428810975 6659334461 2847564823 3786783165 2712019091 4564856692 3460348610 4543266482 1339360726 0249141273 7245870066 0631558817 4881520920 9628292540 9171536436 7892590360 0113305305 4882046652

1384146951 9415116094 3305727036 5759591953 0921861173 

8193261179 3105118548 0744623799 6274956735 1885752724 8912279381 8301194912 9833673362 4406566430 8602139494 6395224737 1907021798 6094370277 0539217176 2931767523 8467481846 7669405132 0005681271 4526356082 7785771342 7577896091 7363717872 1468440901 2249534301 4654958537 1050792279 6892589235 4201995611 2129021960 8640344181 5981362977 4771309960 5187072113 4999999837 2978049951 0597317328 1609631859 5024459455 3469083026 4252230825 3344685035 2619311881 7101000313 7838752886 5875332083 8142061717 7669147303 5982534904 2875546873 1159562863 8823537875 9375195778 1857780532 1712268066 1300192787 6611195909 2164201989

3) Three

Bronze goes, as always, to Three. It truly is a bronze age for Three. It is often claimed that all the best things in life are Three, although many people counter that nothing in life is Three. However, it is true that many people yearn to be Three. Indeed three does belong to the people and therefore the people belong to three.

2) Two

Continually pipped to the post and ending up with Silver, is Two. Two is the strong silent type; there is not much Two say. Indeed, there is not much Two do either.

1) One

And Gold goes to: One. One won. One is honoured to have come top in this list. One would like to thank all those who have chosen to honour One's self and it gives One great pleasure to accept this honour.